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(: Happy girl 91

2012-01-19T10:08:00.003+08:00

Don't ask me why.

Just have to know that I am really happy.

I just want to bloggggg and say that I am HAPPY.

HAHAHAHAHA,

I know damn lame lah . But I'm seriously happpppppy! :D

2012-01-10T03:49:00.000+08:00

HELLO READERS! :D

I very long never update liao! :D:D:D!

^.^ K la. I tell you all what la .
I gonna update photos instead of hundreds of words la k . ^.^

^.^ YZ and me :D

Again ^.^

My Loves, (:

T, YinChi

X, YaoYi

PINKY ! :D

My new iPhone Housing. Mine in Pink!

Went out with Domokun Cap and Tee! :D

my nails :D

Sweet ! from Grandson .

Okay ,

Hi Readers, Enough ? I guess so uh. LOL!

Anyw, yup. Been working and working.

NO TIME FOR SHOPPING.. So not much update.

Most of the weekends, Im drinking :P

Then hmmm, not much changes luhs. :/ just busy and busy with work stuffs.

& I very busy now -___- Didi spamming me on msn -___-;

K la I go chat w him liao.

byebye!

Stop everything.

2011-11-10T02:21:00.003+08:00

Gonna stop everything.

Just work.

Not a single hope for anything now.

Everything just..

I don't know how to say.

I don't think I need anyone.

Just leave me alone.

Please.

Be it whoever you are.

Leave me alone.

Sigh..

2011-11-03T19:14:00.004+08:00

): I vomited again..

Looks like I am not really recovering. ):
But yeah, I guess I will be alright..
maybe in a month time or longer?

And I miss the kids a lot now ):
Really a lot.
I went to visit them yesterday.
Left with heartache because I know
I could no longer take care of them
like I did in the past anymore.

Yesterday, YinChi's questions really stunned me.
Because I do not know how should I tell her what had happened..
Why am I no longer working in Casi helping her dad and
why am I no longer staying in her place..

It's quite painful for me to think back of the past and
yeah.

lols.

I don't think anyone can put themselves in my shoes and
think because they are too selfish for themselves.
I'm so sorry that I said this, but it's true.
You all aren't me, even if you put yourself in my shoes,
you are still unable to understand why I choose to so cruel to myself.

Because you guys haven been close to the kids, yes, it's not mine.
But we do have feelings, or maybe you guys just don't understand the love
I have for them. It's just like how you love your own family members.
They are really like my own, we are so close, we spent our days and nights together.
Not long, a year and that's enough for me to cry my heart out for what it is like now.

Maybe I did the right decision leaving him but
I can't leave the kids because I love them too!
And it's way too much than a relationship.
I likes kids, yes I do. And when you were once ready to
accept the family, the guy, everything then something went wrong
and it's gone. No longer like what you thought and wanted.
Yes, this is life, ups and downs but I can't control myself.

No matter if anyone says that I am just too emotional or whatever.

It's love, my love for them keeps growing stronger and I know
I can't hide.

Only if nothing goes wrong, everything remains the same in the past..
but that's only if.

Today, I let go of everything, accepted my current boyfriend.
I should not let the past affects me, but I know I can't.

I don't want the relationship back but the kids, the love I have for them,
the feelings, the pain..

I don't know how to express myself for all these feelings.

Just feels that I am missing them so much so much and
I can't control.

I thought..

2011-11-03T02:23:00.002+08:00

I thought I could tell you
what happened today

and how happy I am to see the kids today
but yeah. LOL.

Go there, keep very quiet and see you game.
Go down, listen to your sorrows I've cause.
And end my night with nothing but pain.

(: Nights world.

Some updates...

2011-10-31T14:22:00.005+08:00

Hello!

Here's some updateee!

& I haven upload pictures of Aaron being smashed in the face !
HAHHAA!

Shall update the photos very soon!
Hmms,

Today woke up very early..
& yeah, had breakfast then Dota.
Super bored at home seriously.
But hell yeah, it's raining so heavily now that
I can't go anywhere ):

Super sad. But~ !
I can blog ! Since I got nothing to do~ Heh!

& the other day, Aaron promoted my blog to some idk who in
a game. Just to prove if I am a girl or not. Fck -.-'

It doesn't matter if I am a Female or Male -.-'
Fck those people online.
& most importantly, fck Aaron for promoting my blog to
idk who online -.-' zzzz.

Lol.

Well, I am moving my pictures from my phone to my lappy folders.
It's going to take about 6 - 7 mins, tons of pictures -.- Holy god.
Okay! So now...

What shall I do ?
Hmms, no idea what to update you guys really. ):!
Lols, been home this few days, didn't really go out ~

Oh ya ! My parents are back ! (:
Bought me some tibits and yeah!
Favorites ! hahaha!
Food makes my day! :P

Alright, almost complete..
taking another 2 mins I think ? xD!

Lalalala.

Actually, I am thinking if I should keep my hair long or short?
Hmms, both is alright for me, but I prefer short hair though..
but Aaron prefer me to have long hair, s:
Still haven decide if I wanna to keep my hair long or short yet.. lolols.

Oh~! It's done !

Almost ~ x:
HAHHAHA!!

Give me a min, yea~
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

24th, Aaron's Bday !

^-^

Cute faces.

Supper & out late at night !

^-^

Quite sometime ago..

Recently..after the operation.

Days ago ^-^

Okay. Photos updated.

Stop buggin' me for updates & photos already kays! ^-^

Alright, shall upload them to my fb !

Blog another time! Byebye!

Happy Birthday To Aaron January ^-^

2011-10-24T00:15:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Dear (:

Hope that the post is not too late :P

Very proud and happy that I am the first one to wish you on facebook. :P
Heh!

7 months & going on, yes, we are going on (:
Though our relationship are so happening but
yeah, gave a deep thought about us.

Whenever I see new post on your blog,
I know, you are really upset.
Of cause I would like to read your post but
they are all the sad & broken ones.

I just hope one day, I can see some (: post..
instead of those ): posts.

Last but not least..

Thank you & I really love you.
Stop doubting.
Even though I know, sometimes,
I feel like letting go & give up but
yeah, there's always memories & feelings
telling me to stay & go on.

Sometimes, I feel like this relationship is really hopeless
but again, my heart says just try once more.

Other than WCK, I swear, you are my 2nd guy who I would maybe want to
carry on with ~

^-^

I love you & Happy Birthday! ♥

Random

2011-10-23T01:28:00.002+08:00

D:!

Don't even know what to blog.
Just bored.

My head is like.. spinning -___-'
but I can't sleep.
Forgot to bring my medications home ):

Head damn pain seriously ):!

& Ruby came my house today.
still at my place, busying w Aaron & his friends.
Now I only can wait ~

Wait until they finish their stuffs then I
can talk to Ruby ler!

Too long never see her already.
Fever just gone not long~~
Headache jiu lai ):!
Emo siah . ):

Keep sick. Doctor see alr,
still sick -___-'
3rd of Nov going back for check up again ~

This 24th is Aaron's Birthday~ & my parents are going overseas
with my sister, sister-in-law &.. I think my bro is going ?
I am not too sure . yeah .

I'm not going because I don't gamble,
I don't know I go for what also.

That place, only brings me terrible memories anyway.
So yeah, stay in Singapore better lah, heh !

Tonight supposed to meet Anne Anne deh,
but -___- fever. Semo niao ):

Sian maximum ~~~
Nothing to do at all.

Only can online ): yet I don't know what to do online ~ T-T~~

K lah . today jiu like that. Another day then blog again!~

Byebye! ^_^!

偶尔。。

2011-10-15T19:28:00.003+08:00

偶尔，痛一下，无所谓。

让我清醒一点，

不要抱着任何希望，

就不会失望，

人生，路还很长，

相信自己，

不要气馁，

一切都会过去的。

路，是自己选的，

不要埋怨谁。

没有人逼你，

不要去怪谁。

心痛，心碎，心酸，

一定的，

毕竟他住在你的心里，

有一段时间了。。

无法挽回的，

让它成为过去。

重新开始，

是现在最好的选择。

Blackshot with darling ytd

2011-10-15T19:02:00.002+08:00

Had 3 games of BS with Darling yesterday .
My scores were like... f c u k ? LOL.

2nd & 3rd game really lag to the max. -___-
esp 2nd game. CH CH CH CH CH CH dk how many times -____-
God. -___-

O m g . See my score ):! Nooooob like dk what . ):!

Everytime..

2011-10-15T00:14:00.000+08:00

Every time my phone vibrates, i wish it was you.

Quotes

2011-10-14T22:50:00.001+08:00

When you can still love someone even if they are gone,
you know it is true and strong

是我。。想多了吗？

2011-10-11T04:30:00.000+08:00

一个女人的直觉，
告诉我，感情上出现了问题。

是我想太多，还是我们之间真的变了？

Still thinking and wondering about it .

2011-10-05T06:03:00.001+08:00

): I am still thinking and wondering about the secret I am keeping it to myself.
): I have no one to talk to about this because.. it's the darkest secret I ever had in my life this moment.

): Everything, isn't this simple. I am pushing everyone away, whoever who cares.

I am pushing everyone away..

The world is never fair, yeah.
Never..

Never never never fair..
I just wanna say.. The world is really never fair.
& I hate to be in this never fair world.

Times & times over again,
disappointments & disappointments again & again.

Tears after tears,
fall, get up, fall & get up over & over again..

Never ending..

I had enough time to realize real lies from real eyes.
but, it's never this simple.

I will never find another same guy I wanted.
Never find another him again.

Never want to be with another unfaithful person,
Never want to be with another emotional uncontrollable person.
Never..

Don't want.. enough.

I want everything to end.
I don't care if you/he gonna be responsible for what had happen.
I am ending it .
Even if I have to suffer, I am going to end it.
My future ? Ruined, long ago.

Don't tell me about future.. it's ruined, long ago.
I am not hoping for the better already.
Don't come over and give me your hugs & tell me everything would be alright with you down here.

The best thing, best choice, best of best decision ;

Learn to be selfish. Be as selfish as you can.
Take away everything you can.
Just take it away.
I need nothing else but myself now.
I need to be strong, strong & firm enough to go on.

错过

2011-10-05T05:48:00.000+08:00

想念,就在回忆里变淡
也渐渐变成习惯
没有你的日夜没有安全感
曾经牵着你的腕
走过海角天边
那一年的夏天,阳光多灿烂

仍然记得那一句再见

当时我多么勇敢

掩饰伤感和这悲剧的遗憾

泪水拥上的瞬间,太突然

才体会爱情给我的悲欢

天空讲述着蔚蓝

海水尝到了苦和咸

这个故事再想起,总带一点点酸

我仍漂在水中间

却总也忘不到彼岸

孤独过着这几年

总有一些不甘

天空讲述了蔚蓝

海水尝到了苦和咸

这个故事再想起总带一点点酸

我仍漂在水中间

却总也望不到彼岸

梦想和现实,总有一些远

Random Thoughts

2011-10-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

You are not worth the pain ; so I am not going to hold on.

Teehees

2011-10-03T00:29:00.001+08:00

Hello! :B:B

Time for some update yeah!! :D

^-^

Went to colour my nails that day ~
& hell yeah, choose the wrong person to colour my nails T-T!
Fiak. Told her to give me a light pink VERY LIGHT PINK for my finger nails.
She gave me a FUCKING BRIGHT ONE & TELL ME VERY NICE -___-?
Fml.

& then, yeah, I fiaking bear with it..
T-T!!

Toes one alright, :B Cause I wanted brown but the colour is more like maroon brown ? Not very bad lah.
But freaking weird with my finger nails colour ):!!!!!!!

I show you !

I damn emo to see the pink colour >:!!!!!!

ARGH! Nvmmm~

and HIAK!

I got biten by the most irritating FLY !!!

Bitten !!!

Again~

and again~

FUCK !!! AGAIN!

GOING MAD ALR !!!

PAIN AND ITCHY! HATE THEM.

and fiak. Seriously. now even more painful and itchy ! >:

Ass them!!

Now, waiting for Mr Aaron to online and dota with me -___-'
While waiting !~ I shall go play the Sims !!!! HEHHHH!

Blog later :P

2011-09-21T09:24:00.000+08:00

D: Hi readers..
Sorry, am back.
Still, I can't don't whine about my r/s at all you know ? ):
Like a terrible girl.. I am .

Okay.

First, yup.

Life, not much difference without him by my side..
Still not use to it.

The person I see when I open my eyes, is no longer him.
The person I've been nagging & bugging, is no longer him.
The person I always hug & kiss, is no longer him.
The person I call & text, is no longer him.
The person I care the most, is no longer him..

what else?
lols. I don't know how to carry on blogging about this.
But yeah, it's okay. I'm okay.
Everything would be fine after a storm.

I seriously, do not know what to do with my life now.
^_________________________________^
& maybe, it's funny.. hahaha..

I hope, the feelings just leave me alone please?

I hope he's not coming back..
Because, I don't want to hurt him again.

He can find a better someone who treats him like a boyfriend.
^_____^

Cried to sleep,

Forced to sleep,

Finally I slept.

When i open my eyes,

you aren't by my side,

nothing but tears fall.

Because it isn't a dream.

2011-09-21T09:19:00.001+08:00

Good morning.

Just woke up not long ago.
& am working now s:

slept a few hours earlier .

Lack of sleep ):

But yeah.. S:

Morning damn dead -____- nobody one ):

Well, guess I am not having much fun D:!
lols.
Quite a dead post in fact~

Kay la. Let's not waste time..

get your stuffs done & eyes off this website! :D

Byebye!

2011-09-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

今天，我爆炸了。

爆到，不像我。。

I think.. am alright ?
lols.

I don't know !

Speechless for everything.
I am.. like giving up on everything.
Except myself?

I will change, yes I will.

For the worst..

You either accept me for who I am or get lost.

I don't care whoever he/she is, treatment is the same.

I don't know why..

2011-08-27T14:39:00.000+08:00

):

I am feeling..

down now ):

I guess, I still can't make my decision.
I can't be firm.. even though I denied my feeling towards him.

I can't say that I am really totally over him.
Maybe I am really not ready to love..
But I don't want anyone to be hurt.

I don't know what is the best for everyone now.
I just want to know what will be my final decision.

Someone teach me ?

Because I don't know how ?
I really feel like crying my heart out but..
I can't.

I don't know if I go back, I would be happier
or I just carry on with my life now, I would be happier.

I don't want to be selfish.
I don't want to hold on to two person.
I only want one.

But I cannot make up my mind.
& the pain, took my breathe away.
I feel that it's hard to breathe whenever I feel the pain.

The pain isn't going away but getting stronger.
Sigh..

I don't know if I am just missing him too much ?
or what ?

I just cannot make up my mind.
Whenever I face my current boyfriend.
I know, there's feelings between me & him.
I know, there's something between me & him.
I know, I don't feel like losing him..
I know, I want him..

But whenever I think about the another him..
I don't know if I just miss him too much or
I really can't let go of the past?

I really feel like crying.
I don't know if I should face the another him to comfirm my feelings?
Or what should I do ?

I don't want to leave the wrong person or go back to the wrong relationship.
I don't know what to do...

I don't know how to confront myself...

Sigh..

I'm your sweetest or worst nightmare ? You decide.

2011-08-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

^^,

I don't care what others say right now.
Because nothing can resolve anything now.

I would really mean every single word I said.
& it's going to start today.

Changes, might be a little might be a lot.
Treatment, would never be the same.

Don't pray or beg the old me to come back,
because I won't be back to that person you used to know.

Never I would be the one you love the most.

Call me whatever you want, I won't give a damn or feel a thing at all.

I am going back on my words.
You are out of my world.

We are, really done & over.

M'sia Trip with Aaron & Family ( June )

2011-08-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

M'sia Trip with Aaron :D

Just posting some of the photos for updating (:

At Aaron's Relative's Wedding (:

His sisters & Kaka. :B

His nephew (: Wu Di Cuteeee!

Aaron's Nephews & Papa. :D
The kids are really CUTE ! :D!

:D!

Genting Trip June 2011

2011-08-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

Genting Trip Photos with Parents & Aaron (:

Went to Genting with my Wugui :B

My handsome boyfriend went too! (:

While we are waiting for our bumper rides :B

My cutie pie (:

Handsome Papa. Heh!

Movie! Treasure Inn ! (:

:D! Quite a funny & lame movie. HAHA. Heng watched at M'sia not S'pore. :X HAHA!

Our drinks & snacks while watching movieeeee. ^-^

Transformer 3D :B

3D glasses card -___-'

Free tickets to watch Magic Show at Genting :B

Starbucks before going to Casino :P

No title for today.

2011-07-21T05:58:00.000+08:00

N
o

n
o
t
h
i
n
g

t
o

u
p
d
a
t
e

.

Just want to touch my blog for a while & feel like deleting my facebook.
Just stick to my twitter & blogger will do.

Regret asking January to create a twitter account.
Because sooner / later he will kpkb and ask you to accept.

Or maybe not ?
I wish, Not.

I don't want to let you know a single thing from today onwards.
& I mean it. From now onwards, (:

Be it work/daily or whatever.

Remain the way we are now.

I don't think I need to work tgt w January on the same day too.
I have my own stuffs to do too.
I am going home tomorrow.

Have been set since just now.
Great (:
No more reasons/excuses for me to stay :)

有人说，
“你生在福中不知福”

我说，
“他的幸福不属于我为他而创造的”
他的未来，没有我
他会更幸福。

Went to work today ^^

2011-07-16T02:53:00.000+08:00

Went to work today!
With Aaron (:

Yes, quite fun & damn long story -___-
Today finished work, Aaron lost his ring & watch.
Tell me, who wanna steal a couple ring from couple lab & a maybe $300 - $350 watch
than a Ka-Long that cost a few thousand ? -___-?
Fuck right?

Steal Aaron's watch & his ring ?! Like wtf?
Nerd man that kid. Fuck his life seriously!

& because that we got no keys for our locker as we work part time.
I actually hope that everyone can have their locker, I mean two person share one locker,
is also okay. Because I don't think there are enough lockers for every each & one.
Save lockers also. ^-^

Hope that we as part timers can get lockers too after this incident,
but even if don't have, we still got to respect the company's decision in fact.
^-^ not going to quit the job as the manager had immediately cab back from dk where
just to get all these clear, I can see that they are responsible & good to staffs.

When it's time to work, they are really serious about work &
after we all knocked off, we talk as usual friends & yeap,
kinda enjoying.

(:

Quite happy working over there & would like to carry on ^-^
Hehs!

& today, in train, yes, Aaron confronted me stuffs about TWC.
D: Something bad. Don't have to say but yeah.
I would wish that everything can just leave it & let the matter rest.
Because there's many stuffs I can't explain.
I didn't expect TWC to give me $$$ in the first place.
& I actually did tell TWC, it's okay because I can understand that
it's not easy to earn the money back so fast & stuffs.
But yeah, what Aaron said was also right lah.
I'm his girlfriend at that point of time, I didn't ask for $$$,
I used my own $$$ from parents/myself to support myself,
is kinda not right, because even if I'm his girlfriend,
the more he should give me as there's no free lunch in this world.
Yeap I can understand this part,

I am not speaking up for TWC/TYC but I would like to let the matter rest no matter what.
It's the past, I do not want to get in touch or whatever that got to do with TWC anymore.

Everyone should know what did happened in the past & I forced myself to end everything I had with TWC.

First, was my parents.
2ndly, was because Twc was really really being harsh on me, didn't really wanted to give me time & forced me to make a decision somehow.
3rdly, I did not know what I am to Twc, I am serious. he was tgt w me, we stayed tgt for a yr plus & HE CAN ACTUALLY FRAMED ME OF HAVING ANOTHER GUY OUTSIDE?
FUCK MY LIFE OKAY. No matter what I did, did not please him but end up upset him for ? Idk what's the fucking reason actually. I am someone who love freedom so deeply but I gave up my freedom for him & TYC. I gave up arguing with my friends who really cares about me.

I explained to TWC why is my friends thinking this way & hope that he can put himself in my shoes/friends' shoes. Okay, he is selfish enough to think for only himself & TYC.
But in his point of view & I tried to put myself in his shoes, nothing's wrong.

I am not speaking for up anyone here. But I am saying out how I feel.

I didn't want the $$ from TWC because it's okay. I can earn it back.
I can work & earn it back.

I said, his family members treat me so well, his baobei & yaoyi are like my own.
I can say that, no matter what they did, even it's for the sake of TYC / SYY.
It's okay! They didn't treat me like they shouldn't?! I shouldn't be asking for more you see.

& I really don't want to have anything more with TWC.
It only reminds me of the past, what I did, how hard I tried & more.
It only tears me into two, break my heart into pieces, break me down & really fuck my emotional problems seriously.

& I do not want it to happen. It's all the past, let it rest & forget it okay?

My dear Aaron,

I can understand that this situation makes you wanna get the $$ back from TWC to
prove my parents all the shits. But I want you to reconsider again.
You want a happy life w me, or a happy life w yourself only ?

Be it is it the money or not.

If we are true to each other.
Nothing can break us apart okay?
You did nothing wrong.
You don't have to admit it.
I will always side you.
But please bear it in mind,
they are my parents,
respect my decision.
Time will prove them that they are wrong.
Or rather my mum is wrong about you.

Okay ? Everything would be okay for us (:
Hugs. Chill. I know no matter how or whatever the fuck I tell/explain to my mum.
She won't fucking listen but listen to me here, whatever I do, I am helping my own r/s.
Not bring troubles & stuffs. Nobody like to be framed, I understand.

As time goes by, everything would be fine okay ? (:
We are working already, fret not !
We can prove her wrong! Alright ! (:

Hugs,
Rachel,
Girlfriend ♥^-^♥

D:

2011-07-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

Too lazy to update D:!
Haha.

Words are never enough to tell how I am feeling now.

--------

Okay!

I think I am going down to Sin Tua later. (:
Yes, to talk to someone -___-

Sigh, time passes, everyone grow old.

But I would the two elder ones to learn,
how to protect, love, care & listen to your parents.

It's not like they are being unreasonable but
they care, whatever they did was for the both of you.

Please think twice in whatever you got to say & do.

Jiejie here, really damn heart broken to hear all that from your parents okay.

I hope to see a better change in both of you (:

): Seriously no mood.

2011-07-10T14:45:00.000+08:00

): I am seriously feeling damn damn damn damn damn down.

I really thinks that I should re-consider about giving all out in my r/s ):

I think I shouldn't give all out.

Things he did this morning really turns me off ):
& I am super super super sad ):

Maybe he feel nothing.

But I swear, I am not going to wear it w him again.
Never.

Many times, I show like I don't care, I don't bother, I don't give a damn.

But I care, I do bother, I do give a damn.

But what you did was like - IT'S NO BIG DEAL LA.

Sigh. & you lied.

):

I damn damn damn damn damn sian.

I would never give all out for you.
You can do the same too.

Somebody tell me what to do?

2011-07-03T06:48:00.000+08:00

Someone..
please tell me..
what to do..

Why am I like this.
Why ?
Why ?
Why ?
Why ?
Why ?

Full of ? in my head.

I need to run away.

Run to where?

I don't know.

Town everyday ? $$$$ where to find.

Work, what work?
I don't know.

Just fuck my life, let me die.

Single from this moment.

2011-07-03T06:35:00.000+08:00

Single,
from this moment.

Don't ask why, how, when, where.
I don't know why, how, when, where.

Before that,

I wanted to blog about my msia trip w him, genting trip w him,
my wish list & stuffs.

& more.

But,

Ha.

hA.

Ha.

hA.

HA.

I'm single now.

I don't know why.
He always feel like dying.

being with someone & that someone always feel like dying.
then why I am still with that someone.
Always make people feel like dying.

1. Bad Tempered.
2. Too Stubborn.
3. Very Childish.
4. Bitch of The Bitches.
5. Way Too Hard To Please.

This is me.

Forget about having a relationship.
Yeah.

Always make people want to die, too angry, too pehchek with me,
for what?

let people live peacefully.
Stop interupting people's life.

One fine day, really if someone die for you again,
you can take it meh? CAN MEH?
CAN AH.

Cannot what.

Bitch, what the fuck are you thinking of?
JUST LEAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE ALONE.

GO LIVE YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN FUCKING WORLD.

DON'T GET A BOYFRIEND.

YOU ONLY MAKES PEOPLE WANT TO DIE WANT TO DIE WANT TO DIE ONLY.

GET YOURSELF OUT OF THEIR LIFE.

(:

2011-06-17T15:52:00.001+08:00

You don't ever fucking come back

Because I won't be the same.

(: Happy.

2011-06-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

Heh.

Very happy.
Don't know why.
Maybe because Aaron act cute ? LOL!

He so so so cute at times until I cannot believe that..

I HAVE SUCH A BOYFRIEND ?!!! BEHAVE LIKE A KID ?!!!
HAHAHHAHA!

He was dancing with his boxer -__- so damn cute when he dance.
& then he tell me, he damn high -___-'
I ask him to go and bathe straight away!

LOL!!

Seriously, life been better (:
Time to get even more serious in life. :D

Considering of night part time office course.
But not going to tell my parents yet.
Should be paying myself :B

A secret HAHAHA!
& Idk if Aaron knows or not. :X
I like.. never update him? HAHAHA!
Miss Poh KianEan still ask me want to do beauty line or not -__-
Sot one. I don't want to work beauty line ! ):

Use my time to earn money.
Rather do admin. -__- pay not much difference.

& today, in the noon, don't know what happened la. ):
Sudden emo. -__-'

See my facebook know already.
Emo like don't know what.

20th of this month to 26th of this month. I very busy.
So all, please please please don't disturb me okay.
I need to help out at my father's stall. :B

Heh. then 27th, I'm going overseas -___-'

& Aaron is rushing me to go bath ):

K la. I now go bath then pei Aaron go buy new boxers (:
Byebye!

就算她再爱你，也不会有结果的。

2011-06-13T03:32:00.000+08:00

就算

你全心全意对待一个人

也未必能有好的结果

反而

可能结束的更快

--

今天，我只能说

心伤透了

可是没关系

我还会努力

努力的试着

爱一个这样的人

-

爱；我不要什么。

我只要有你在身边，
就足够了。

Sometimes, it's just.....

2011-06-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it's just.....

Well,

I don't know where to start actually.

But I really do not want to see this to happen.
I hope you really treats her well.
& I hope, you really BELONGS to her only.

We want the facts, truth & your conscience.
I mean it, you know?

I can't seeing my beloved aunt aunt to be sad, disappointed & in a mess now.

Can you please put yourself in her shoes?
think of how is it like if you were her?

This situation really digs my heart out,
All she wants was,

A man who love her wholeheartedly
A man who is willing to give & take
A man who is willing to take care of her
A man who is able to be hers & only
A man who is really true to her

Is it really this hard for guys to be faithful?
I guess not ?

You have a nice, hardworking, understanding girlfriend,
who is willing to give & take, who tries to understand you.
Who tries to trust you.

But with this situation, how do you expect her to trust you?

Sigh,

after what I heard from her,
I am really disappointed.
Really.

): Sigh.

Back from Bedok Point !

2011-06-07T02:22:00.000+08:00

Hello! (:

Am back from Bedok Point.

Went K-ing with Aaron.

Damn shuang today.
Sang for 4 hours. Hehhhhh!

AH. I want to complain! ):

That day I took cab with Aaron,
early in the morning 7 plus,
the cab uncle make me angry ):!

Very cold mah morning.
So I requested to off the air con.

Guess what the taxi driver told me?

Me : Uncle, can off the air con? very cold leh.

Uncle : Cannot.

Me : * ???? * Why ??

Uncle : I need the air con.

Me : Wah, now the driver can don't bother about customers' request & stuffs already leh.

Uncle : - never reply -

--

I very angry leh ):!
Where got cab uncle like that one?!
Early morning so cold, he don't want to off the air con.
& he tell me he NEED THE AIR CON!?
What kind of service lai deh?
Kns lor ! ):!

SMRT CAB, those in green ones.

SHB 7613 M.

KNS. Spoiled my mood lor.

After that still argue with Aaron over the uncle's stuffs.
Tmd. EAT MY DA BIAN LA.
):!

Okay! End of complaining. LOOLL!

X:

--

Today before go K-ing, WE HAD SUBWAY FOR DINNER!
HEH! Subway is love!

I had Egg Mayo today! :D
Hehs.

then go k lor.
K for 4 hours.
Finally back to Aaron's place.

& he wu di da bian.
He dota without me !!!

I hate Aaron ):
Pangseh me.
Don't want this boyfriend already la!

Change target change target!
Hahhahha.

Friday, meeting Anne, Simon, Terry & idk who ~ X: with Aaron
at Bugis for steamboat dinner! (:! Hehs.

Aiyer, actually not much to update la. :B

Soooo..
I shall get back to Facebook &

TATAS! :B

Angel's and Vicky's Big Day (:

2011-06-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

(:

Am very happy today.
Yes.

Today is Angel and Vicky's Wedding.

I AM SUPER HAPPY.

HAPPY UNTIL WANT TO CRY ALREADY!

Because my babe found her happiness.

With my deepest warmest wishes for my baby and Vicky!

CONGRATULATIONS !

Friends and sisters for so long..
and today am able to see you,

on the stage, under the light with our greatest, loudest claps and best wishes.

OMG, I AM ACTUALLY TOO HAPPY FOR MY BABY !
Seriously! Idk what to say!

But today, I am really very very very happy.
Happy to see my sister wearing her grown and walks happily with Vicky.

She's the happiest and beautiful WOMEN today! (:
She's a WOMEN NOW, A wife of someone, A mum of the loves.
OMG.

I simply too happy already.
Until Idk what I am going or trying to say and post.
TOO HAPPY! T-T

Happy until really wanna cry already.

Because Angel is my sis, for 10 years.
and she's getting married today.
She found her love, she found her Mr Right,
She found him. She found her own tiny family.

I am really too too too too too happy.

LET'S MEET AND TALK!

SEEYA LATER.

Just a short post.

2011-06-04T09:29:00.000+08:00

Hello people.

(: I'm done on deleting people on my private account.

& blocking & stuffs. Yes.

Including blog's stuffs.

Only People who are granted permission are allowed to access my private blog. ^_^

Want Access, please email me

Your blogger Login Email Address.

Please verify who you are & then once I send you the blogger private account access.
Please go to your mailbox & click on blogger, login to grant the access for viewing.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Other than that, nothing much to blog for today (:

-

你的真心，
我们的亲情，
就在这里，

结束。

家人，到底是怎样的？

I DON'T WANT,

2011-06-01T08:31:00.001+08:00

I

DON'T

WANT

A

BOYFRIEND

ANYMORE

.

You can never know why I am so cold suddenly.

I just want to know if I am right about it...

& it must be a miracle, home till now,

I didn't even touch a cigarette.
& Aaron, I'm sorry but I just want to know,
if I already totally fall for you or
is he still in me.

One of the most wonderful post in Www.BabyChel.Com on year 2011. (:

2011-05-28T04:17:00.000+08:00

One of the most wonderful post in

Www.BabyChel.Com

on year 2011. (:

First of all,

My family. (:

Father,

I actually don't know what else to say other than " I love you & Thanks " to my dad.

Because, he's not just my dad, he's my best friend, my closest friend, my teddy bear,
& hell more.

He never fail to make me smile. No matter how angry, how sad, how disappointed I am.
He will try all ways, go by all means just to make me smile in no time.

Even though we will have cold wars & he's the one who's always giving in to me.
I know that my father cannot stand me ignoring him, he just can't.
& I am fucking stubborn enough to ignore him. :P

Yes, indeed stubborn & childish of me but I don't care because to him,
I AM HIS BABY GIRL. (:

Whenever I say, I want it, I need that, take that for me, drink it for me, I can't finish,
whatever, he will just do it, take it, give it, all for me.

& each time, no matter how angry he is, he would try not to scold me but
talk nicely to me instead.

From young till now, there's only this fucking three incidents made my dad went out of control
& slapped me.

Even though he slapped me, even though he scolds me, I will not & will never talk back.
Because I know, thats his limit already. I know my dad more than anyone else on this world.
Including my mother, I pawn her okay. They've been married for fucking 28 yrs( counting 2011, would be 29 years. )

Yet I know my father better than my mum! :D Close right ?
:P

People might be envy & jealous BUT people who are envy & jealous,
Think again, You can never find another to replace your own father,
YOUR FATHER IS THE BEST OF ALL.
Just like mine, He's the best of all. (:

Who doesn't have flaws? You do, I do, everyone has it. (:

Next -

Mother,

She is loud, noisy, irritating.
But she's still the best mum of all.

Because she's someone who thinks & care wholeheartedly for this family.

Her nagging are irritating but it contains love & care.
You might find my mother scary, I do find her scary at times -.-'
But she's the one who supported my father & gave my father every NEEDS & SUPPORT
all these years, nobody love my father as much as she does !

Including me!

I am 20, I love my father for fucking 20 years, I known him for fucking 20 years,
I know my father inside out, so what ?

My mother is the one who gave him what he needed & wanted from the very start of this
family.

Without her, there won't be me. (:

I agreed with friends that my mother is a bit too much at times,
but please put my mum in your shoes, what if I am your kid, & I am doing something
that worries you ?

She's softhearted & she only can talk loudly, shout loudly just to vent her anger & scares people.
-.-'

For me is like that lah. But you don't think my mother is good to bully okay.
She fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking sot one.
Don't make her your foe, you will surely regret it :P!

---

Friends,

K I tell you all, slowly, one by one will kill me, I will die of typing. Trust me.

My crazy friends who lives around 137, been w me for years,
Yes.

Eric, Deric, Ahbee, Zhenyou, Allan, Daryl Korkor, YQ Korkor,
Raven, shuzheng, ahneh & .... yeah goes on. I don't have to say right ?
you guys know who you are (:

All of you.

All Sk members,

Tenaga ones,

Anne, EdwinK, EdwinZ, TerenceT, WeiXiong( even no longer friends )
Brandon my bitch, Peter my twin~ & moreeeee.
& this grp of you guys too.

Yes, many many of you.

Special hugs & thanks.

Always been there for me.

I am really very happy to know you guys.
& I really don't know where to find such a friend like you guys.
I can't stand losing any one of you.

So please, if there's something I can be a help of,
PLEASE TELL ME !

I really really really don't know what to say
but

THANKS & I REALLY LOVE YOU GUYS VERYYYYY MUCH!!!!!

& my girlfriends,

Must name all girlfriends, too baobei alr !

♥ Anne
♥ Kian Ean
♥ Xiang Xiang
♥ Amelia
♥ Lynn
♥ Yu Fang
♥ Angel
♥ Sui Feng
♥ Karrie
♥ Karen
♥ Katt

♥ Girls, tell me how am I supposed to go on without you ? (:
♥ Maybe you haven't done much or what, but you've been in my life for years.
♥ You're always love by me okay!
♥ Distance isn't the prob, (:
♥ It's the care & love. :D

-

Now,

Ex-boyfriend(s)

-

EdwinZ, Hi brader!
Yes this cute, tall & handsome guy from my ex boyfriend become my gan korkor :P

Forever mr nice :D DOTEEEEE TOO MUCH ON ME ALRRRR. :P
Cannot find words to... express...such a guy like you. HAHHA!
TOO NICE ALRRRR. Maybe not to others, but to me, YOU ARE NICE ! MR NICE.
MR VERY VERY VERY NICE! :D

You know me la. I don't have to say this muchhhh also deh :P
Don't cry when you see your name here k . X: HAHAHA!

-

Wong CK.

Guess many of you already know that he will be on the list yeah.
Yes.

Hi Keano.
Don't be surprise why you are on the list (:
You were once my everything, my support, my life.
My father, brother, best friend, close friend, boyfriend..
Just EVERYTHING to me.

You taught me a lot about life.

You taught me to get up no matter what makes me falls.
& I greatly greatly thank you for that.

(: You did made a difference in my life. :D

As for TWC,

Same here, Thanks.

Nothing much to say to you actually.
Just hope that everything goes well for you.
Thank you for letting me to know,
how much my family members care & love me,
how much my friends feels the pain whenever I am suffering on the other side

& of cause it's not just suffering. You gave me the best times I had during the days with you too.
You are a good father & you can be better (: Jiayou.

--

LAST~ but not least !

Aaron (:

Hi current boyfriend.

All I wanna say is,
I never once forget what you did to cheer me up whenever I am down.

The songs you sang, the little things you've done, the words you've said.
Always makes me smile, tear & go crazy.

But that's the way it should be.
(:

Even though we always argue & quarrel,
but I am glad.
Because we both cares & often feel bothered by it.

Actually, for the past days

I am not being emotional.
I just cannot forget..

the three words you said,

" one sided love "

I don't know how or what I did to make you feel this way.
but I am sorry to make you feel this way.

At times, I do wonder, is it because of that I am too stubborn?
I always wanted to give in but I can't because that's me.
You like me for who I am, I am not going to change myself for who I am.
Even though friends have been telling me how much how much how much I've changed.

Yes, indeed I am a little more softhearted to you.
But it's because I can't afford to lose another person who
means a lot to me no more.

One wck & one twc, pain enough to let me know
being too stubborn is not a good thing.

& because of my stubborn-ness I lose them.
This is why I have become even more softhearted than before.
Many of them couldn't see, many of them couldn't accept the fact
that I am like this now.

But I trust myself.

You are someone who's bad tempered.
You are someone who needs others to give in most of the times.
You are someone who needs attention* (depending on who also luh.) .
You are someone who needs special understanding, love & care.

Because of a lot of stuffs, you choose to hide everything to yourself.
You don't say, you don't show but I know.

I just didn't want to show because it's a respect.
Sometimes, I forced you to say things that you hid
because I want to talk to you about it.
I don't want my boyfriend to keep everything to himself
& he actually don't know who shall he talk to.

So, no matter it's regarding whatever,
Tell me. Be it your friends, your ex-girlfriends, your family.
Whatever.

I am your girlfriend, I would be jealous, yes.
But you are already with me, my boyfriend already.
Shouldn't I trust you instead of being jealous, ranting about this & that because of this another
whoever..?

There's nothing we can't talk about actually.
But that's because I know I can control myself.
I can keep every single thing to myself without showing & without affections.

You, I know cannot -.-'
Don't need to lie to me. Im your girlfriend.

I am not that unreasonable,
but I am not saying that you're unreasonable also luh -.-'

& I bet you know my limits are really far.

Far enough, that you can even time me & I can endure -.-"

Not afraid to let you know about it because if one wants to time me,
sooner or later, he will.

Worst of all cases, a break up.

Even though I can endure, this doesn't mean I give you permission to
time me, you will regret one. x:

& I want you to know,

happiness don't come easy.
Don't take it as if it's yours.

Every single smile, effort, tear, sweat, energy, love, word, thing, jealousy, feeling...
Yes, everything makes us a couple.

So, let's jiayou hand in hand tgt, as far as we can, as long as we can.
(:

♥ Girlfriend ^_____^

-

Yes,

I am done.

I want everyone to know,

I fall, I get up, I stand up,
I got stronger

is because of you guys around me.

Even if you are the one who makes me tears all the time,
you are still the one I care & love, always !

Rachel always meant what she says.
Don't take her words lightly.
She would be upset if you does that.

Thinking about it.

2011-05-25T04:53:00.000+08:00

S:

Am actually quite happy today.
Went out w Boyfriend, Boyfriend's Mummy & Boyfriend's Mummy's Boyfriend.

and actually the whole trip were like.. very happy & stuffs.

until...

We reached somewhere else -___-'

& partly is my fault I guess.

Yeah.

Anyway, Boyfriend & me bought 2 tee!

Yeah.

& I feel like blogging yet don't know what to blog -__-'

Sigh. Extremely emo actually.

because the 3 words keep running through my mind.
Yes.

Can't stop thinking about it ):!

Sigh. I guess, I am really really really really really this bad.

Aaron :"
One Sided Love "

What's left to say..
since like that?

For Aaron ; Boyfriend (:

2011-05-23T15:57:00.000+08:00

Hello Boyfriend,

This post is specially for you.

Keeping everything to yourself is because you were afraid of losing me,
isn't it very hard for you?

I know that your Dad & Mum's problems with you, I can't say much
the only thing I can do is to be there for you, be with you & go through everything with you.

Job, slowly, it's not that you can't get one, is because you want a job that
is suitable for you.

Who doesn't want a job that's suitable for themselves?

Our relationship, yes.

I am not losing faith in our relationship.

I am not going to lose faith in you, because nobody is prefect.
I don't expect much from a guy now.
Because I know I can't expect something that one can't/unable give/show/be.
Of cause my only expectation from my Aaron,
Just be there whenever I am really down.

I've been through a lot, family, past relationship, friendships & my own stuffs.
But I am still standing strong is because I believe this is life, I need to learn, fall, get up
& go through it. Be it myself or with anyone.

I will not give up on you or this relationship.
Even though, I might be harsh with my words,
but I don't really mean it.

Sorry if I said/done anyt that cause you to heartbreak & tears.

Don't lose your will to go on.
& Believe me,

Don't let me be the reason that why you are still holding on.
Because I'm just your girlfriend.
Just going to 2 months..
I want you to know,

your family members are the ones who can let you hold on to everything right now.
You yourself knows that how important your family members are to you.
Like me, I don't have to say.

My mum already said, nobody & nothing can make me leave TWC
unless TWC really makes me angry till I can't even....

But, I left him? For my family.

Everyone's family is important to them, the will to go on/hold on is because of them.
Maybe you don't now, but eventually, you will.

& you are sorry for all the shits you've done?

Why be sorry ? Nobody is prefect, everyone makes mistakes.
Tell me who don't?
As long as you are willing to change, prevent yourself to make the same mistake again,
chances are always there for you.

When chance(s) is/are given, grab it but you don't take as if it's meant for you.

&

I just want my boyfriend, Aaron,

to know that I won't give up nor lose faith in you or the relationship.
Not going to let you die there alone lah.
Die also die together mah! X:
Don't worry laaaa, :P

(:

Loves,
Girlfriend

Rachel

Prata supper & out to Bugis then mj at my place! :D

2011-05-18T08:17:00.000+08:00

HEYO!

Been long since I blog about my daily stuffs!

Heh.

The night before, Raven called Aaron at about 2am plus,
& we all met up for supper at Prata shop near Aaron's place.
Then we went to Bedok inter & play LAN, after that..

Play till yesterday morning!
then we went to Bedok Interchange Hawker Center for breakfast!
Then !

We headed back to my house area!
then had a haircut session with Raven. :D

Then.. -.-'

Guess what ? Raven text me something that makes me really feel disappointed & angry at
the same time!

& yeah -.-"

Met the kid & went to the market & meet his mummy,
told his mummy about it.

Then waited for Raven & Meiqi to come over :D

Cabbed to Bugis. :D
Went to GuanYinMiao there.
Yeah, as usual la.

Then Aaron bought his necklace for his baibai one :x
Then I bought .. idk what's that called la.
For my GuanYinMa. :D

after that, headed to Pool fusion.
TongShan & another girl came !

after playing pool!
& then we went to makan! :D

Saw ZhenYou at Bugis w his girlf too. :D
Haha!

& finish makan... we went back to Pool fusion!
TongShan & her friend left after awhile.
Then

We headed to my place for mj session after pool.
& then finish mj... Aaron & me came back to his place.

DROP DEAD ON THE BED.

Of cause before that got bath & stuffs la!
LOL.

K la.

Photos/whatever later then I update okay! :D

Im going to online & chitchat alr :D

tatas!

I explained myself ONCE and that's enough.

2011-05-12T10:42:00.000+08:00

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS LIST.
YES, FUCK YOU.

FUCKING GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

MY WORLD DOESN'T WELCOME
SUCH PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS.

-'-

I explained myself ONCE and that's enough. Now,

FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE.

DON'T EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER COME BACK

AGAIN. I DO NOT NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS ! -'-!

Uncontrollable.

2011-05-08T02:07:00.000+08:00

Friends, Thanks. I know you guys care, but please do not do not do not judge just like this. & I know you guys meant well. I know, you guys never see me like this before.
BUT, we are friends, right? No matter how, I did change for the better. So please accept me, this way. I do not want to argue. I just want all for you to know, I am really serious about my own r/s,
I don't want to let go of another.

I did let go of someone, unwillingly for the sake of my family members,
but what I got was just that few sentence that hurts.
Never thought of asking why.

My first to second week of relationship with Aaron,
was really hard on me.
Because TanWeeChew always pop out, it's a fact that I can't deny.
I won't lie to Aaron about it. Because there isn't a need to.

It's not like I left TWC because he really made me feel that there's no more hope.
But, I just don't want to disappoint my family members,
I don't want to.

& going back to him, the fact is, yeah unfair.
But so what if I really like this person?
I would go all out if I can.

Everything happens for a reason,
but a reason isn't needed for anything that comes along your life.

Cherish while you can is what I've been telling everyone out there.
Because I know how is it like to lose someone who's your everything.
Because I know how is it like to lose someone who can change you totally.
Because I know, once you choose to turn your back on that person, he/she might really take it for real.

& because I know, so I don't want to let go, again.

Please just accept for what I've become, today.

I know, big big big big big changes.
Makes you all wonder is this person really me?

Yes, it's me,

Rachel.

I am a good friend - quoted from Javier Goh,

Because I am not selfish enough for myself.

I am not a good friend, I am serious.
I am also a selfish person,
but why should I be selfish towards people who aren't selfish to me?

People like, Poh Kian Ean, Tan Xiang Xiang, Javier Goh, Anne Goh, Edwin K & Z, Brandon, Angel Lim, Wang Kai Jun, Raven Tay, Ng Yu Fang... ECT

All of you, ARE NOT SELFISH TO ME.
BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU GUYS DID,
YOU THOUGHT OF ME

No matter in the past or present or even future?!

I will still be there for all of you.
My time is for my family, friends and myself.

Family? Now? Hah. I don't know what's a family now.
Other than my Dad & Mum, they said, they pampered me too much.
Yes, I agreed, way too much but why were this two of them understand me & knows my stuffs/situation the most now ?

Before that, someone in the family told my parents.
It's my choice, my life, let me choose who I want to be with & don't meddle.
End up, that someone told my parents, IF, they care, all these won't be happening.
So tell me, what do you mean, exactly? I need an answer.
I do not know what's on your mind at times seriously.
But, I know, YOU ARE TOO SELFISH WHEN YOU WANT YOUR OWN RESULTS OR YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING.

Am I really really really a part of you all ? Or apart?
All these years, so much changes, but you don't see them.
Even my friends, CAN SEE, CAN FEEL BUT WHY NOT YOU !?
I am the youngest doesn't mean I am the most useless person in this family tree.
I can do a lot better than you in many.

Maybe I didn't prove it to you.
Maybe I am just a disappointment.

Maybe, I shouldn't be in this family tree.

& I want you to know.
No matter whatever happens,
DON'T THROW THE BLAMES ON MY FATHER AND MOTHER.
THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE TO MAKE ME FEEL HOPELESS, NOT EVEN ONCE.
BUT YOU DID.

--

& I actually do not how to continue the rest of the post.

Because I am really out of words

to say how I feel.

I can't find any mistake on you guys too.
I'm just disappointing & upset.
With what had happened.

Once again, I want you guys to remember.

Twice, TWICE.
You guys almost ruin my life, TWICE.
No more the 3rd time.

& I bet you all didn't realize.

Because you all didn't really notice me.

Am I really happy?
Am I really alright?

Ha.

You don't know.

So stop, stop forcing me to make decision that will make you guys smile but not me.

Whatever you did, really makes me feel like giving up my own life.

Because whatever I did, from young till now, from past till present,
it's just what you wanted me to do.

Didn't you guys just fucking realize?

Enough said, I think?

I know where I fall, I know how to stand, I know no matter what, it's a must for me to get up.

FOR MYSELF & NOT ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE.

Don't think that you are the strong one out there.
I am stronger than what you've been thinking & assuming.
I am someone who is willing to listen.

I am someone who's willing to take & give.

I am someone who's willing to take all responsibility for what that happened.

But not you, you have been throw blames on our parents, on me, on others.
What about yourself ?

---

家事，不是你想象的那么简单。
感情，不是说没有就真的没有了。
笑，不代表内心里真的开心。

哭，不代表我输了，
哭，不代表我痛了，
哭，不代表我屈服了。

现在，对我来说，
你和他只是和我留着同样的血的陌生人。

爸爸，妈妈，是我唯一的家人。

Speechless

2011-05-07T16:14:00.000+08:00

What should I blog?
What should I say?

Nothing.

Because I am totally upset & disappointed,
not with anyone else, but myself.

I kept quiet,
I give in,

but you don't know, don't get it.

It's okay.

Never mind about it.

I am pretty sure of my own doings.

I know when I am supposed to play, when I am not.

Don't ever, thinks that I am pushover.

I will never let anyone, ANYONE,
to make my family & friends suffer.

Boyfriend ? Be frank,

With or without a boyfriend, really makes no difference for me.
Even if it's painful, it's unbearable for me to take the path that I didn't want.

It's okay. Because my parents and those bunch of friends, are really important to me.
Without them, I won't be standing here.

I would be lying in the coffin many years ago.

Respect ANYONE out there, no harm.

Respecting my parents & friends,

Hard?

If so, then why are we even together?

For me, a relationship,

as long as we are happy.
Nothing else matters.

If you need a break, let me know.

& now I want you to know,

I need a rest.

When you fucking don't know, you fucking shut up

2011-04-26T06:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, super fed up.

When you fucking don't know a single shit,
you shut up.

Don't tell me what to do.
I fucking know what I am doing.

In your eyes,

I am someone who doesn't know what's good/bad for me.
Fuck you.

It's my life.
I fucking jolly well know what the fuck is good/bad for me.
I fucking knows that what's right and wrong.

BUT YOU FUCKING DON'T KNOW ME.
BE IT AS A SISTER OR A FRIEND,
I DON'T SPEAK THE TRUTH IS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU ALL TO BE WORRIED.
I LIED BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU GUYS TO FEEL DISAPPOINTED.
I DON'T WANT TO FACE YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU GUYS ONLY WILL BOMB ME WITH
FULL OF QUESTIONS OR MAYBE, JUST THROW BLAMES ON ME.

I AM RACHEL KOH.
I AM 20 !
I AM A GIRL WHO NEED NOT ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE TO BE WORRIED OF ME.

I HOPE YOU GUYS FUCKING JOLLY WELL UNDERSTAND.
EVEN IF I FACE THE BLOODY COMPUTER 24 HOURS DAILY.
I AM ABLE TO EARN MY OWN ALLOWANCE.

IT'S MY CHOICE, I WANT IT OR NOT.

--

I just fucking want you all to understand.
I am not who you think I am.

一颗心，一扇窗。
窗里窗外，亲情满布。
尘封的心，在于窗不再打开。

Was that a bad decision?

2011-04-22T06:26:00.000+08:00

Wondering at times,

Did I just took the bad path?

I mean, relationship, nothing to rush.
But since there's feeling, there's something between us.
Why not?

You always bomb me with questions that
I can't give you an answer,

or maybe I got the answer but I am unable to say it out.

or I didn't even finish telling you but you just cut in ?

I don't know.

Seems like..

I gave you nothing but heartaches.

Hiding my own stuffs, is the only way to hide my emotional.

I don't like to smile, laugh, cry, tear, shout, talk.. a lot.
Because I do not want to smile to make people smile.
I do not want to laugh just to let others know that I am happy.
I do not want to cry because I do not want anyone to be worried.
I hate to tear because I am weaken if I tear & I don't like it.
I do not want to shout at others, because I don't like it.
I do not want to talk because there's too many stuffs on my mind.

Everyday, night, I feel like being alone.
Because I feel that I need to be alone to think,
I am unable to think when someone is by my side.

Yesterday, I was angry, sad & yet I do not want to stop you from gaming.
Because you are gaming happily.

I do not want to stop you, because it makes you happy.

I said, I am coming back alone tonight, it's not because I need/want your attention.

I just want you to enjoy your games without worrying if your girlfriend minds or not
& stuffs.

You jolly well knows that I would not tell you nor show that I am unhappy, I am sad, I am this and that.

Then the more you should know that, no matter whatever I do, it's because of you.

When I am happy, I smile & laugh because of you.

You made the smile on my face, you made me laugh.

When I am sad, I cry & tear because of you.

You made me feel heartache, guilty & bad.

When I am angry, I shut up and keep quiet because of you.

Whenever you makes me angry, I just don't want to talk.
Because I know, I will end up, shouting at you instead.
I do not want to shout at you, so I kept my mouth shut.

You asked me,

When I am with CK,
What's the definition of love between me & him?

I do not know how to answer you,
because it's a kind of feeling,
I do not know how should I tell you this feeling I had when I was with him.

When I am trying my own way to let you know,
you just cut in and I just don't feel like going on.

I just don't know what to say, what to do.

& I guess, I am just..

not good enough.

对不起，
你的爱，
我不懂，
学不会，
不明白。

让你心痛，
让你心碎，
让你心疼，

让你心里，

留了疤，
流了泪。

对不起，
是我唯一能给你的安慰。

到底有谁能了解我的感受？

2011-04-16T23:34:00.000+08:00

有没有人可以告诉我，
我该怎么做？

有没有人能了解我的感受？
有没有人可以让我感到心安？
有没有人可以让我在没有压力下的哭泣？

我，朋友太多，多到，

我真的不知道，

别有用心和真心的朋友
是谁。。。

我想，除了我自己没有人可以
让我在没有压力下哭泣。

可是，我却没有我自己的时间
让我自己发泄。。。

No feel.

2011-04-14T23:18:00.000+08:00

Speechless.
No feel.

Heartache.

Nothing else.

Do not want anything from you, never want it again.

):

Do not expect anything from anyone you love & care,
because they won't give it to you.

It's from you, again

2011-04-13T02:35:00.000+08:00

Super surprise to see that number,
it's from you.

Once again, nothing nice.
As usual, (:
I'm kinda used to it
yet still feeling vex about it.

I hope everything is well,
both you and her.
Esp her.

From day 1 I know her,
she's love by me, dote by me,
I do not allow anyone/thing to hurt her, harm her.
Be it you/your family members trust me or not.

I did nothing.
Whatever Mdm Yao had said,
it's all from her, not me.

If knowing me, through enough.
You should've known that I won't be taking revenge.
Be it, on you or her, I won't.

I clearly knows that letting Mdm Yao to take her back
is no diff from pushing her to hell, pushing her in the fire.
I won't do such a thing.

I hope, everything goes well for both of you.

That's the only thing I want to say & I had clearly explained myself
to you, your 3rd sis & myself.

Good luck and take care.

-

Today, went to Bedok Interchange Hawker Center for dinner.
Then headed to Bedok Point, pei Aaron.

Then headed home, talked & had supper with Parents & Aaron.
I think Aaron isn't feeling very well, he vomited twice, ):!

Hopes Aaron would feel better tomorrow.
& I'm going to take a shower & offline soon.

^-^

Kinda happy today.

I don't know why.
HAHA!

Maybe because I am with Aaron for the day again (:
I am on medical leave -.-' no work tomorrow,
but my Mr Aaron.... is so annoying.

Asking me to go to bed -.-"
-'- Aaron X:
HAHA!!

Okay lar. I am going to take a shower & off to bed already.
Good night everyone.

一个人的害怕

2011-04-12T16:41:00.000+08:00

一个人；

坚强的害怕

让我不知道
自己要的是什么

一个人；

强烈的想念

让我不知道
自己该怎么做

没有人

能让我

感到

安慰

除非

你再次

出现

在我

眼前

Finally.

2011-04-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

I am working !

From tml onwards. :B

Will be at NAC, 5th Floor. :D

Heh.

Happy, because I can be busy!
& won't be home whole day!
Doing nothing but.... slacking, online, playing and more.
So yeah !

Finally, I am doing something ! :D

Going to bed soon!

-

Tonight, I finally can sleep in peace.
Because Aaron won't be disturbing me.

& I hope, I would sleep before he does.
HEHEHEHEHHH.

So that he disturb me, I also won't wake up. :D

Anyway, my another blog is up already.
Readers who wants to know the link, please email me.
Cause Im not going to link it on BabyChel.Com

^^ Thank you. :D

bad day

2011-04-10T02:56:00.000+08:00

:( bad day!

didn't really sleep today! :(
don't know what's wrong.

many things on my mind this morning.
in a sudden, everything just flash through my mind.

maybe that's the reason why I couldn't go to bed.
end up forcing myself to sleep.
yet after 2 - 4 hrs, I woke up.

if all these keeps going on...

I'll know what's really...

:(

Mobile Blogging from here.

just woke up! going to inter later!

2011-04-08T01:34:00.000+08:00

yay! just woke up!

gonna go bath while Aaron dota (:
then go bedok inter (: heh!

okay la! I go bathhhhhh alr blog again later (:

Mobile Blogging from here.

Hehehehehehehehe. Long day.

2011-04-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

:D

Today, woke up very late.
Didn't go out with Daddy & Mummy.
Pei Aaron go MMI for his check up instead! :B

then, his papa drove us back to his home.
after that, rest awhile alr,
headed to Bedok Inter.

Had Subway for dinner :B
HEHEHEHE.
Super Happy! :D

After eating, went to collect our photos
and went to Bedok Point,
buy tiny MJ.

After that, Mini Toons to get a container for our tiny mj.

& then headed back to Aaron's place.

:D

Then he dota la. LOL!
dota until just now, just finish :B

Today, time pass dao very slow.
Don't know why.

Currently listening to Plush898. (:
Gonna go down to buy cigg & head home to get my clothing, flats
and idk still got what lar. Lol

For tml ^-^

Tml gonna head down to Raffles. :D

& the idk who's in charge say wanna send me email.
Until now haven send -.-'
No choice to call the guy who interviewed me.
LOL!

He tml then let me know the address.
Wu di cute deh loh! ):!

K la Offline alr. Bye! X:

- Cont -

Hi, back again.
At Aaron Shifu's house now.

Well, I think I better just shut up?
Just nod or shake my head at all times.

Controlling, Bothering, Asking, Telling, Wanting, Needing ;
is just asking for trouble.

Nothing but trouble.

Do not know how to communicate.
Because the moment I said the wrong stuffs,
it's just " THAT'S IT "

So it's the best for me to just shut up.

Returning everything.
Do not want to bother much,
No more.

Maybe he will feel better this way.

I just don't know what to do with him.
Whenever I talk back, it seems to bring nothing but trouble.
He said, I can't win at shooting back,
& when I am shooting back,
be it I win/lose, it just doesn't matter.
But he can't take it.

So I think it's the best for me to learn to nod or shake my head
from now on.

I just don't know how to be a good / nice person.
That's all I can say.

If one day, I just stop everything I used to do.
You might even think that I am going to leave.

This is where I cannot understand,
for most the guys.

We control you, We are freak.
We don't, We don't want you anymore.

So what should we do then ?

We keep quiet, there's something wrong.
We talk, we are being unreasonable, we say the wrong things just because you don't like to hear it from us.

Why not, you just tell us, what should we do/say to please you guys?

Sigh.

有时候，
真不知我该做/说什么。
怎么说，怎么做，
都错。

(: Kieron's Bird-Day ( 4th April )

2011-04-05T04:18:00.000+08:00

Yay! :D

Today, had fun with Kieron :D
Heh. Very happy to see my son :B
Hehs!

He's super cute la! omg. xD!
& today, he did his homework !
Finished his spelling ! :D
Very fast! :D

Good boy! :D

Then today, had dinner at xhj with Aaron Darling, Kaijun, Eric, Meimei, Deric, Shuzheng & Sandra. :D

Heh. Then head to 137 to meet Allan, slack then bring Kieron home :D
Hehs!

& then after that went to help my parents a bit.
Then went back to xhj again!
Bought supper. :B
Then went home, ate supper.

Aaron fall asleep while I am dota-ing.
Then 2nd match, I wudi angry! ):

The pub, using SK.
WHALAO. I really DULAN HIM SIOL!
Qop & Potm BOTH ONE HIT, SURE DIE ONE.
I RED LIFE, STILL FIGHTING HAVEN DIE YET.
THE SK ORANGE LIFE, HE RUN.
CCB!!!!!

I kp him, HE TELL ME HE LOWWWWWW LIFE. WTFFFF.
DULAN.

I told him,

" You wanna play humji ? "
" YOU STAY IN BASE LAR! "

Pcb, hate pubs at times! Really! omgggg! x.x!

Now on the phone w Terence didi.
Going to bed soon.

Just now help Aaron wipe his body -.-"
He too tired. -.-"

Nvr bath jiu sleep, so I help him to wipe his body! :B
then Im going to bed soon! :B Hehehehehe.

Parents just got home!
Tml must wake up early early ):
Awwwhs.
:(

Lol.

Okay lar. I go to bed alr.
Blog again! (: ^-^

Byebye!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY TO KIERON AGAIN! :D:D:D:D!

Well, problem raise again because of itchy hands.

2011-04-02T06:19:00.000+08:00

Hello!

am here to blog again! (:

Well, I just wanna say,

I hope everyone can just SIT DOWN AND TALK NICELYYYYYY.
I've been telling every each of you who's involved.
There isn't a need to be so harsh on each other,
no quarrels need between the 3 of you, Eric, Meimei & Meeli.

( Meeli, Sorry if I spelled your name wrongly.)

I hope everyone would sit down, face to face talk nicely.
Please do not just avoid the problem/troubles.
There's a need to talk, because it's important.

I am always fair,
MeiMei, you should know, I am always fair.
Never once I speak for anyone, but I see the situation.
I listen to both sides.
And now,

I hope we can talk it out.
I know Eric had said something that really makes you
need fed up and disappointed.
Feeling hopeless about it & stuffs.

Okay whatever it is lah.
I hope bee's mummy talk to your mum/aunty/whoever
would solve all the problem.

If not I will be the one facing all of you & talk. ^-^

丑话先说，I might not be nice, cause I feel kinda fed up about this
problem too.

Eric, I also hope that your changes can touch someone and hope that, that person
is able to feel, see and accept it.

Meeli, be frank, I don't like you. Don't like the way you talk neither. ^-^
I am just being frank, sound hostile but that's what I feel towards you, no harm! :D

--

Okay, now, my own problem,

I don't know what the fuck I've said,
I don't know what the fuck I've done,
I don't know what the fuck I should do also.

I just made someone feel that he's a bad boyfriend.

I don't know what to say nor do.
I just feel freaking sad.

Sigh.
What have you done?
):!

Alrighto!

2011-04-01T14:57:00.000+08:00

I am back on blog ^-^

Hehs.

Days before.
I got Aaron a Iphone 4 using my name but his money luh.
Lol. :D

Which I am not supposed to actually.
Because of my Sheng Cheng Ba Zi,
this year, die die cannot help ppl do anything
with contract thingy ones.

But am willing to give a try for Aaron. :B
Won't be having any bad stuffs happening uh? s:
& anyway!

I wanna complain about Starhub again.
Whalao.

Service like shito! ):
I actually wanted to get Singtel line but
think again, I do not want to think about that holy fucker, Tan Wee Chew.
So I get my new line at SH instead.

Uh! then ya la. got the phone alr.
I nvr do a check.

Go home, TMD, SPEAKER NO SOUND.
Kukujiao.

Then ytd went to AMK find ChrisX, then
head to Nex to change a new Iphone for Aaron.
Then go back AMK do his phone stuffs.

After that went to Chomp Chomp and meet Anne for dinner (:
Heh. Super happy! :D

Meet Anne for dinner alr, went to Lana's place for MJJJ! :B:B:B!

Woah, yesterday is like.. wooolalalala. LOL.

& Shito! ): my sleeping time change again! ):

Tonight must sleep before 12am la ):
If not work, I die ):

Lol.

Well, nothing much to post actually, all photos up in FB.
Anything jiu FB update ! :B

Heh. I go ask Aaron wake up ):
I wanna eatttt!

Sometimes, you just got to learn to let go,
instead of holding on.
Because you might will feel better to let go
of someone who doesn't know how to cherish you
and feel better than holding on to someone who doesn't even deserve you.

Aaronyks. :)
Thank you.

A new start for you & me ^-^

Super Moody

2011-03-27T03:11:00.000+08:00

Super Moody Mood.

& I do not know why.
):

Been running away from my own fears & troubles.
):

Acting like an stupid idiot.
Do not know what am I trying to pretend too.
I hope, I can stop but I knew it's highly impossible.

):

Being unfair, to someone who's close to me, right now.
But I just want to tell everyone the truth.

I know, it's not easy, it's not going to be fast.
I hope everyone can give me more time and stop pushing me to my limits.

I know I am good at avoiding my own troubles.
As well as handling my emotional.

So, people, no worries alright.
I will be fine, soon.

(:

--

Today, Aaron shifu & YanLing argued. -.-"
YL's mum & my mum came down too.
-.-"

Wudi boliao.
Lol, cause of 40$ nia. -,-"

Anyway, Monster John today also cute!
Ask me to go over -.-'
Plus his parents & bro/sis not at home -.-"
& then, VERY FAR LAR.

He say want to fetch me / I take cab he pay.
SIAO ONE.

I super duper lazy nor ! ): Go until so far !
Plus today I meet KaiJun ley! :B
hehe!!

Today, I saw a different KaiJun.
I hope everything goes well for him.

Kor, Jiayou! (*:

Sometimes, you just got to be selfish for youself.
When would you learn this, Rachel Koh?

Mahjong again! (*:

2011-03-25T07:05:00.000+08:00

Good morning all! (:

am here to blog again! :D

Heh,

Yesterday,
Pei Aaron shifu go cut hair,
head back to my place,
had dinner together,
wait for Marcus and Jessica to come over to play MJ.
:D

Then play until around... 5am.
LOL.
Then Jessica lose until no chips left,
so we ended the game ):

Heh, but I am very happy!
Cause I won 27$ :P
Then Shifu won 97$ in total :P
Teeheees.
Very song. LOL!

then today early morning,
Daddy & Mummy came back from overseas. :D
They won RM 5000++ @ Genting. LOL!!
Cover their everything ! LOL!
Free meals, free shopping, free this and that la. :X
LOL!

Yar lar, after MJ, I went to bath & went down with Shifu,
buy breakfast for Daddy & Mummy,
then went down to had our breakfast together :)
Then now, come back Shifu's place. :B

Heh. & I think, Shifu is madly crazily in love with MJ,
He asked me still want to play or not -.-"
Lol.

Crazy deh! I already so tired T-T
lol!!

& now Shifu very busy with his RS. -.-"
A online RPG game, -.-"
Lol.

Sian, nothing much to update ley. ):

Everyday's life is like.... MJ MJ MJ MJ & MJ?
Lol.

Anyway, later heading to Bedok Point to buy piggy bank & if
wake up early can go Bedok South there eat my favourite food. :P
Hahahaha.

& then, tomorrow I wanna go cut hair at AMK :B
Hehe!

Uhhhh, everyday/night also MJ.
Like super eng like that ! Lol.

I need a job badly ):
Chou korkor, haven give me date/time to go to work ):

* Angry *

Hahaha.

Okay lar. I don't want to blog already! :B
Going to Twitter & Facebook :B

Update again!
Byebye!

我对你，
除了绝望，
还剩下什么？

Wish that you could let me go,
stop holding on & stop breaking my
heart into pieces, again.

No matter what you gonna do,
I will never let you have me, again
because you don't deserve me, at all.

Be it, I love you or I don't,
it doesn't ever matters now.

I just hope that you can carry on your life even
much more better without me.
As you said, without me, there's nothing you can't achieve.
& there's so many better girls out there.
No point holding on to someone who doesn't want you
back again.
Let us just end our chapter here.

There will be a better person,
a better life,
a better world,
a better chapter,
awaiting for you & me.

Been Mj-ing these few days ._."

2011-03-24T07:05:00.000+08:00

Hello! (:

Been mj-ing these few days omg!
Lol!!

Later going MJ again!
With Marcus, Jessica and Aaron! :D

Yesterday, I lose 20$ ):
But Aaron shifu help me :P
HAHAHA! Then I no win/lose. XD!

Thank you Shifu! :B
I lose more than 20$ lar.
All the bites & kang, is shifu pay for me one. LOL!!!
X:

damn imba. He win a lot siah yesterday! ):
- Jealous ttm! -
Lol.

Okay lar.
I gonna get ready & go back MJ later :P

Blog again when I have the time.
I know this post is short, boring & sweet! X:
HAHHAHA!!

Tatas~

Ever thought of why ?
Why didn't I give you another chance ?
Because you don't deserve it, anymore.
Sorry.

Super extreme cute mood today.

2011-03-22T03:00:00.000+08:00

This morning,
freaking couldn't sleep.
Then I stay awake until I really
cannot ):
Then I went to bed.

Woke up at 2plus.
Online.
Talk.
Bath.

4plus went out with Aaron,
went to City Hall & meet Terence.

Headed to Funan IT building because Terence need to
fix his BB( Phone ).

Then after that went Sakae for Dinner. (:

Half way through my dinner,
my sis called,
she asked me about Chris and me,
and yeap, I told her about it.

She warned me not to get back with him.
Of cause I won't even if she don't warn me,
I also won't go back with him already.
Totally disappointed and upset.

After that, she told me she would call him.
Because I told her, he always text/call me now.
Then she said, she would help me to tell him, not to contact me.

Yeah.
After that,
HE TEXT ME.

He said :

" Your sister called me and say bullshit nicely done say me in blog go ahead. My fiend all dow here laughing childish can't win and say non true at your blog haha. It better than u being a bitch sleeping with guy and sitting inside their car for so long. Hahaahahaaaa "

I didn't reply him.

then here comes another text from him,

He said :

" Say all my friend go ahead without prove act like a kids saying people. Just like your sister. "

I didn't reply too.

I ignore his texts, Aaron and me pei Terence wait for bus 14 first.
Then we took bus 65 back to my place, took my stuffs.
Then head to Bedok Point, Sing K.

While singing K, Kianean called, (:
Very happy to hear my girlfriend's voice.
Teehees.

Then she tell me... she heading to Casi..
-.-"
I Sing K sing 1/2 way, I no mood ):
lol.

But I still don't care, I still sing.
& Thank you Aaron Shifu,
He sang two songs for me.
Ya. (:

" Thanks for the Memories " & " She'll be loved "
(: Thank you!

& actually,

Chris text-ed me again, while I am singing K.

He said :

" Haizzzzz dear sorry!!! I too harsh on words. Sorry can u answer my call I really love you...:(((
I don wish to lose u. Dear Dear I miss u too much that y I over protect u please think can dear I not joking I never want to give up cos I really love u please don sleep with other guys please "

I didn't reply too.

Then he text me again.

He Said :

" Can u give a chance to hear your voice again...:( "

Of cause I didn't reply.

Then again,

He said :

" Deardon angry le can ma...:) please I really miss u badly I really love u please my dear cal me I don know what to do now can u tell me ma "

I do feel something but sorry, I am going to ignore you. Because you are not worth it already.

--

Alright. Now, I would like to voice out my say now.

Chris Tan Wee Chew.
Whatever that's on my blog, it's a fact, the truth.
I don't blog fake stuffs on my blog.
My blog motto is very important.
Which is " Nothing But The Truth "

So I would never never blog any fake shits on my blog.

You can take your phone out
check your text, check what I typed.

You want me to take photo of what Sureen text me also can.
I would never post fake shit my on blog.
When I get the photos already, I will post it on my blog.

anyway, let's end Chris stuffs here.

--

Thank you Shifu, (:
Been with me for days.

& now, back at Shifu's place, facebook & blog.
Going to bed later.

Shall stop here. Good night readers.
Sorry, just a sudden feeling make me don't feel like going on.
Sorry!

If I go back to you,
I would disappoint my family members,
I would disappoint my friends,
I would be treating myself bad.

I want to get over you because,
it's a need for me to.
If not, I would be letting myself down.

): It's a bad day for me.

2011-03-20T00:47:00.000+08:00

):

I hope, everyone would sit down and talk nicely.

Sigh. Everyone is arguing, quarreling

):

I dont want this to happen.

Eric & his wife.

Deric & Allan.

Dane & his ...
x:

Then TWC and me also.

):

Wei Xiong and me also.

SIGH. I SPEECHLESS.
):

IDK HOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEING HELPFUL LIKE... ):
Making myself... ):

Sigh.

Movie.

2011-03-19T07:40:00.000+08:00

Went moive with friend,

at amk (:

Caught World Invasion Battle Los Angeles

1hr 56min‎‎

Action/Science fiction‎‎ - English‎

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Ramon Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan, Michael Pena

Review :

For years, there have been documented cases of UFO sightings around the world - Buenos Aires, Seoul, France, Germany, China. But in 2011, what were once just sightings will become a terrifying reality when Earth is attacked by unknown forces. As people everywhere watch the world's great cities fall, Los Angeles becomes the last stand for mankind in a battle no one expected. It's up to a Marine staff sergeant (Aaron Eckhart) and his new platoon to draw a line in the sand as they take on an enemy unlike any they've ever encountered before.

Link to Battle LA

Youtube.

& He was freaking COOL! :D
Very nice movie.

Didn't regret watching it. :D

Then later, friend drove me to meet another friend then
went home.

Then I went to friend's place, till now, haven go home. LOL!
Names shall not be mention because, currently...

a lot of idiots would be reading and KAYPO-ING when they shouldn't.

--

Anyway, T.WeiXiong,

if you sees this, I would be glad.

Whatever I text, I meant it.
Don't think you really knows me.

Don't say let I let my emotional take over my work.
FUCK YOU DEEPLY.

If that was the case, I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD I LEAVE THE SHOP ALREADY.

GET YOUR INFORMATION RIGHT FIRST.

WHEN I AM WORKING, YOU ARE NOT THERE.
PLUS, COME ON,

YOU SAID, FRIENDS ?
FRIENDS ?

Never thought of WHY ?
Why I didn't tell you anything anymore ?
Not because I know someone I could talk to,
not because of anyone else.

BUT YOURSELF.

Many things, I do not want to say on my blog.
Because I don't want my family members to know about it.
They do read my blog & how many times have I told you ?

I KNOW WHAT'S WORK.
I KNOW WHEN TO THROW MY EMOSHITZNATIONS AWAY WHEN NEEDED.

Please just do not think that the years we known each other
means how much we know each other.

Of cause, I am saying myself too!
Don't worry. (: I am not you.

How straight can I be ?
You should know this ? I think ?
(:

SK TRAININNNNG! 14 March 2011 xD

2011-03-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

14 March 2011.
Monday

SK Training. :B

Allan, Naomi, Eric, Deric, Ah Leong Kor Kor, Karen, Ye shifu, ah boy, Wei Wei, Wei Sheng

& me la ! :D

Actually, yesterday..

Only Allan, Deric, Korkor, & Ah boy were training.
The rest of us.. were like enjoying, chattin' & more.

Funniest is, I was like.. addicted to the meatballs sold at the kopitiam!

& super funny la.

At first, I went to kopitiam.

I buy fries for Karen & 5 Meatballs for myself.

went back to sk..

Enjoy eating ! :D

Karen, Naomi & me like go SK just to eat!
lols.

After I finish my meatballs.
I told them, I WANT MORE!
LOL!

Went back to kopitiam,
buy another 20 meatballs.

all share share.
HAHA!

Damn crazy!

LOL!!

Then we go there like.. Just to eat!
Hahah! Then of cause after training~
We went homeeee. :B

Reached home, bath alr, online.
Online alr~ wudi tired la.
):
Yesterday, my msn like... kena spammm!
Lol. Super tired lar. Then don't want to msn alr!

Qiwei called me & we talked.

Then after that~
Sleep! Lol.

:D

Actually, yesterday~ jiu shi like that loh!
Hahah!!

Okay lar. Lets upload pictures! :D
As usual! :D

& I know, readers freaking happy!
Cause I am back to blogging!
:)

Deric! Having the meatball!

Deric took one -.-" Lousy leh you Deric. LOL!

Deric took this also! LOL! Better a bit :B

See ! Eric sot already!

Super blur picture!

:D Finally! Like a good one, but.. Eric -.-"

See Eric ! Jiao Bin

Trying to be a kid!

R(A) 21 !

He wanna kill Deric already! LOL!

我想，我真的不够坚强。

2011-03-14T15:57:00.000+08:00

今天，我望出我的窗，

一边难过，一边哭着，

告诉我自己，

许欣盈，这一片天空真的很大，
不要为了一朵云而哭泣。

明知道自己不可以，为什么还要分？

明知道真相，却为了他，隐瞒了所有的一切。

不要再想，不要再试，不值得。

不要再伤害真正爱你，关心你的人。

）：

(*: A New Start!

2011-03-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

It's a new start for me.

I need a new job now.
Need a new life too! (:

Now, every week, 4 times, SK Training.
Job, I wondered, Should I get a full time or part time?
As training will be like 4 times a week, 730pm,
Can I make it? S:

& whalao.

Friend intro me go K-Box work fulltime, BUT AT CINE leh!
So far far far far far away! ):
See how bah! :S

Now gonna go FBFBFB alr. (:! Hehs. (:!

I don't have to try anymore.

2011-03-11T06:14:00.000+08:00

Don't need to try & try & try,

because he gave up.

Just fucking get over it.

Stop thinking because it's not worth.

She was label by him - A Liar

2011-03-09T05:35:00.000+08:00

Label by him

-

A Liar.

-------

Should I be happy or sad ?

I don't know that it's all not worth it until I came home
& saw it.

I swear, if you ask me nicely, properly, there won't be a problem.
But I don't even see you asking nicely nor properly.

I don't want to explain anymore.

If you think that I am a liar,
be it.

I don't want to explain so much.

I need something that you won't give,

Time & Understanding.

I don't feel like explaining how much I need you anymore.

Tag Replied

2011-03-06T10:55:00.000+08:00

Yoz: just a passer by . Don't be so emotional. I can see that you're real strong! Be happy!

- Thanks (:

Tag Replies and maybe a bit of updates? x:

2011-03-06T03:29:00.000+08:00

Tag replied

6 Mar 11, 00:02

Dragonfly!!:

- Don't act ): with Jiejie please!

6 Mar 11, 00:02

Dragonfly!!: where my photo!

- When I am really very free la then I upload -.-"
- & WHERE'S MY DOMOKUN!?

--

Nothing much to update.
I am waiting..

Waiting for the right time.

It's Between Us.

2011-03-05T04:41:00.000+08:00

Between Us.

Between me & sis.

There's a lot to say.
But, I just can't let you know.

I'm sorry.

Sorry that I lied.

To me, this isn't hardships.
I can take it.

I know if I were to tell you thr truth,
you would be very sad & angry.

But I just don't want you to know & worry.

Pride? I don't know where my pride has gone to seriously.

But at least, I know my feelings well.

No matter how he disappoint me, it's okay.

It's because of him, I walked out of that terrible days I had.

Nobody were really there, not because I hid my feelings, my true sorrows.
It's because nobody notice it.

I have always been the very strong one among all.
Because I do not want anyone to be worry.
Including you all, I don't even want my friends to be worried, let alone my family.

Of cause, I won't say anything.

A lot of times, I wanted to hide & ignore my feelings for Keano that time.

but I failed, I just kept on crying & crying each night.

The moment I open my eyes, I think of him, I cry.
Whole day & night, I cried & cried.

For that past almost 1 year plus, only Chris were there for me because
I do not know who else should I turn to already.

Everyone have their own problem.
Everyone is busy with their own life.

Friends, not all were there.
I know some were there.
But they've been there for way too long,
I always repeat how much I miss, love, want & need Keano.
But I can't go back to him, because I don't want to disappoint you all.

Everyone were telling me, if CK is willing to put in efforts.
Willing to change, why can't I just trust him for the one last time.

Because nobody knows
HOW PAIN MY FAMILY MEMBERS WERE FEELING WHEN I CRIED.

Then Chris, suddenly pop out in my life.
I told him my stuffs, he talked to me.
Trying to help me, he restricts me to see Keano.
He bring me wherever he goes, he gave me what I want & need.

Facing him, I don't feel pressure.
Because he's a friend.

But a lot happened, too many happened.
& I do not know how to handle.
I seek for his advice.

& he really dotes on me a lot.
I was very very very very very sad that night,
he just bring me straight to BQ, open 1 bottle of Martell,
accompany me, drink, play & sing.

He bring joy to my life at that moment of time.

& I am grateful.

Now, I am totally in love with him.

He didn't treat me like how Keano treat me.

But I know, he dotes me.
I can feel it.

I always tell others,

My boyfriend knows nothing.
My boyfriend is too idiotic.
My boyfriend this and that.

But I know, he's the one I want & need now.

I am a strong girl.
I am someone who can live without a boyfriend.
I am someone who can just dump my boyfriend if he treat me bad.

But I choose to hope..

Hope for a better change.
Even though I don't expect him to change.
But I just hope to see a bit of Keano in him,
I don't know why, I just hope.

):

Today, I saw your message.
I am glad. very.
You just touched me the very moment
I see that sentence.

I know none of you want to see me suffer / make my own life difficult.
but this is life, this is what I need to go through to learn & over come.

I don't like to run away from my problems / troubles.
I only want to solve it in a fastest, easiest way.

I hope, if you happen to read this,
please do not be angry or sad.

Just smile because I have different point of view for my relationship & life.

I grew up.

I am learning.

Even if it's going to make me fall,
just let me fall.

Youtube-ing.

2011-03-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

Youuuuuu-tubeeeeeeeee-y

you you you you you you tube tube tube tube tube

&

1

&

2

&

3

it's TIME FOR YOUTUBEEEEEE-ING. :D

http://www.youtube.com/v/e272c80ASpo?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/e272c80ASpo?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Taiwan Drama : 鍾無艷

Song Tittle : 轉身之後

Singer : Bii

http://www.youtube.com/v/zQN2O8udTJ0?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/zQN2O8udTJ0?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Taiwan Drama : 鍾無艷

Song Tittle : 到不了的幸福

Singer : Bii

http://www.youtube.com/v/Im_G8e_YuLY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/Im_G8e_YuLY?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Song Tittle : 沒關係

Singer : 吳克群

http://www.youtube.com/v/wEOjqjR4TjU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/wEOjqjR4TjU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Song Tittle : 散場的擁抱

Singer : 倪安東

http://www.youtube.com/v/S15kGOhO2B4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/S15kGOhO2B4?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Song Tittle : 我想我不會愛你

Singer : 田馥甄

http://www.youtube.com/v/SpT_MS3xGNU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true">http://www.youtube.com/v/SpT_MS3xGNU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="510">

Song Tittle : 錯的人

Singer : 蕭亞軒

Been missing all these songs recently.

Heh.

Nice songs! I like! :D

--

Trust is a brittle

thing

A moment for me to try to collect

my mind

Updates!

2011-03-02T11:06:00.000+08:00

Supposed to go over with boyfriend cause his dad says so.
but end up didn't go :P

He went with his daddy!
I'm in the shop, working !
On shift right now.
waiting for AlvinOng to wake up and come over to take over then
I go bath & rest, go crazy with my VAIO!
Lol!!

Okay, I know, I am very crazy with my VAIO!
very long never see VAIO liaos.

Mummy yesterday tell me,
If VAIO chu stun again,
She buy me new laptop.
LOL!!

She wanna spend more money! Lol!
& She asked if I wanna get a new phone or not. -.-"

cause her plan ending also.

SO GIRLFRIENDS, SAVE YOUR MONEY FOR YOUSELF(s)
Don't buy phone give me or I angry.
Lol.

My mother already open her golden mouth say wanna get a phone for me.
So.. please save your money okay! (:

See ah, I buy iPhone 4 first, then a month later...

My plan finish..

SIMI SAI~

then my 2nd phone I get what ?
I don't know what phone to get also >:
I feel like getting my own starhub line,
& don't want them to pay for me for the 2nd line.
Save up & work, pay by myself.
But see how lar hor.
Lol.

Now my job is hard to cope at times,
& for the up coming 2 to 3 months,
I might be freaking busy!
So please forgive me for any late updates / no updates. :P

Oh yeah, I wanted to post a post each day because boyfriend won't be around.
but he postone his stuffs to 15.03.2011
So yeap!

From 15.03.2011, then I would be very very very active on blog. :D

The night before, Boyfriend came back, sleep w me in the shop
& I was totally dead beat that very night!

Serious! I play dota... guess how I played?
I was lying on the com table with my eyes CLOSED.
LOL!

Feed like no tomorrow ! Oh my! hahah!!

Lol!!

okay, i go busy already, update later :P!

Tag replies & work.

2011-02-26T02:35:00.000+08:00

(:

Hello people.
Am actually still at work right now (:!
Heh.

A lot of customers. :D
Hehs.

BUT, I just change shift with Alvin Chew.
He uh.. hai, a lot of problems. -.-"

But it's okay! Settled already! (:
Hehe.

Anyway, today I slept in the noon
then boyfriend came back,
I think so? LOL!
But other than him, nobody have the keys to
the office, so must be him lar.

& he kiss me on the forhead & lips while I was sleeping.
I think he told me he came back already, then come in office see me.
Heheh.

Then he said he's going home & he's sleeping at home right now.
Lol!!

So did he just come back and see me ? x: HAHAH!

What a sweet boyfriend I have !
Even though he always make me angry and sad.
HAHA!!

Nothing much to blog today actually,
just wanan be active if not people always complain say my blog is dead,
no update, always pester me for updates and more.

NOW I KNOW ALREADY,
ALWAYS UPDATE LIKE HOW I USED TO!!
Then you all won't come and ask me why never update, why this and that.
I know you all wanna know my daily life stuffs.
But I am working now you guys know ?
Even it's a lanshop with... so many coms for me to use blog. LOL!

Work come first okay! (:
Hehs.

And please do not tag like that Dragonfly,
don't get aim by me, you will regret one. LOL!
Got one girl kena already last time & found it kinda boring.
Cause I made everyone know her, know her stuffs, know her everything.
LOL!

& she became famous! & of cause, she got shoot by every friend & readers.
Because she always like to blog, lie and badmouth about me.

Hey friends! It's okay if people bad mouth me at their blog or whatever.
Because they are simply jealous of my life. :D
Heh.

Or maybe they seriously need attention! x:

Well, I blog because I love blogging, not because I need attention.
I blog because I want to, I need to, I have short term memory.
So I need to blog to keep track of my past. :P

Unlike someone. Attention needed badly, madly & deeply. HAHA!!

Okay lar. Time to reply tag.

:D

23 Feb 11, 02:44
Cathy: From Kuching with love

- Thanks. ( Nice advertisement tag too. LOL! )

25 Feb 11, 01:03
Mia: blogwalking at night before sleep.. return the visit please

- Lol. returned. ( Special siah this adverstiment tag. LOL! )

25 Feb 11, 16:16
Dragonfly!!: woah! write essay ah!!

- You put this nickname, you scare I don't know who are you huh ? -.-"
- Ya lar. Essay la. you need one from me ?

26 Feb 11, 00:34
Caroline: These comments are absolutely nothing to do with your posts, I just wanted to tell, that I feel honored for your visit on my blog. This comment had nothing to do with your article, but at least these reasons can be the beginning of our friendly relations. Thank you.

- ^.^ & Seriously, I didn't visit your blog, x:
- I went to the link after you tagged :P Friendly? Nope, don't feel so. :D You're most welcome &
- thanks for visiting ! :D ( Another Power Advertisement Tag. LOL! )

Hehe.

Tag replied! (:

Hehehe.

2011-02-24T11:34:00.000+08:00

Hello !

If you are reading, then you don't cry or go crazy okay.
What I am going to post is a fact. Sorry about that. XD

Firstly, I already told you, nothing can break me and him up.
Because I knew what's going on long ago. Ever since you came to the shop,
I already know. -.-"

My boyfriend, I know him better than you do, girl.
Don't call my boyfriend a jerk, cause he's not.
Maybe to you, he is one. But to me, he's not.
No matter what he did, be it it will make me smile or tear.

I still love him, want him & need him.
I don't know how much you like or love him
& seriously, I don't care also.

But, I can be sure, not as much as me,
if not, you won't be #$%^&*( at your blog & twitter,
facebook.

I'm not stupid,
You can say I look like a maid, for looks I don't give a damn.
You said, I am not up to be with him?
Think twice ?

A relationship doesn't need standard.
Don't you understand love?
Or you haven been in love truely?

You might say that I am stupid, foolish, dumbfuck and more I guess?
LOL!

But I am here to tell you,
I'm not.

I seriously know what's going on,
from his reactions and more, I already knew that both of you had something.
Didn't you realize?! I thought you were a clever girl with brains that think fast!
But you proved me wrong this time, you wanna know how to catch a guy,
you must know him well enough.

From his reactions, you can sense and know what's going on.
Understanding a person and knowing a person inside out is TOTALLY TWO DIFFERENT
THING.

And it makes a big diff. :)

I'm not teaching nor scold nor whatever the sai you gonna think of lah.
But you are foolish and stupid enough to believe. LOL!

Of cause not laughing at you la. don't have to be angry also.
No point, for what? You already say don't want him, looks like also won't die what.
If will die, why didn't you grab him ? -.-'

If you truely like my guy, you should grab him what.
I'm always fair and sqaure.
If you wants him, I will not let go of him also.
Don't be stupid. LOL.

Got something in between, it's okay.
As long as he doesn't bring trouble to his child's custody,
won't affect the shop, everything is okay.

I can always endure because I really really really like this person.

I saw your post, disappointment stuffs one.
but I gonna tell you,

If that someone is really this important to you,
no matter how, when, where, this person disappoint you,
still, you will pin hopes on him, hoping for a change and improvement.

This is the way I love my guy.
Even though he is always naughty, chu pattern but
I am willing to endure the pain and put it behind me.

If you really like him, grab him.
It's okay.

It's up to him to choose you or me.
Not us.

I am straight and hostile when someone want to take away something / someone
who's important to me.

I hope this doesn't lead to any arguements or quarrels.
I am just blogging what I want to say. ^.^

-------

okay, now it's just for my readers, not her alr. :P

Ya la. I seriously, don't know why she so blur. Lol.
See also know already, still ask me.
When she asked me that question, I already knew it's comfirm.
I already thought of it happening because I saw her coming to the shop
and not for once. Of cause I know something happen in between.
But what's the point of me stopping my boyfriend? or her?
If they really want to like that, don't have to come to shop,
his house, her house? shopping malls? anywhere?

How to stop? Lol! No point one.
As long as my boyfriend is happy -.-'
Won't affect YinChi's custody and the shop.
Everything is okay with me.
I don't know if he knows a not, I doubt he will read this post anyway.
but am still hoping that am wrong. :P

haha.

Okay lar. I go handle shop thing already.
Dont blog already. Hehe. Cyaaaa readers!

THANKS EVERYONEEEE :D

2011-02-24T00:19:00.000+08:00

Thank you everyone who came and celebrate my 20th Birthday! :D

I SIMPLY LOVE YOU ALL TOO MUCH ALREADY!
LOL!

ALL MY PRESENTS, A LOT A LOT OF DOMOKUNS, then 3 angbao, one pinky sofa idk what's that call X:
LOL!!

Angbao from my brother, boyfriend's parents & boyfriend's nephew, YAOYI!!!

Domokuns from AlvinOng, JunRong, Jimmy, Anne Aunt Aunt, MeiMei & Xi Yue!

and the pinky sofa... idk what's that call actually.. LOL! That's from beebee & his gf :D

Heheh. Very very very very very happy. :D Hehe!

Boyfriend bought me my favourite birthday cake from that cake shop I love! LOLOL! x:
heh.

Idk if WeiXiong got chip in or not but THANKS ! :D

And my buffet, my parents paid for me, :) THANK YOU! (:

Then my family , boyfriend's family members & friends who came, REALLY! LOVE YOU ALL LAHHH! (:
Hehe.

Cause I am always working, always with my boyfriend, seldom hang out with
you all already, so yeap! heh THANKS! :D

And, before this celebration w friends,
I had another birthday celebration with my family members @ my grandmother's place,
with my boyfriend too! :D

And I got angbao from ahma, xiaoyi & my parents.
My sis & sis-in-law bought me a Armani Exchange watch.
:D

Heh.

& super surprise !

THEY BOUGHT THE SAME WATCH THAT MY BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A FEW NIGHTS AGO!!! & is boyfriend choose already ask me nice or not and stuffs,
then I say, not bad lar. Just not used to it cause he used to wear those sports Armani ones.
Then suddenly change then of cause not used to it. :x

And then.. on the night my sis and sis in law pass me the present,
my sis kept asking me to open -.-"
then I open it,

end up, I see already,
I jitao...

- Turn to boyfriend -

& we see already..
I grab his hand and see his watch...
I say, SAME ONE LEH.
Then he say, REALLY LEH!! SAME LEHH!

& now, boyfriend and me end up having COUPLE WATCH. LOL!!
xDD

Also good lah, help my boyfriend save money :P x: HAHAHHAH!

( & then, now boyfriend forbids me to wear my favourite BabyG's watch -.-! )

& from young till now, for the past 20 years,
this is the first time people make me a angbao and a birthday card tgt !
VERY NICE & SPECIAL! I LIKE! :D
THANKS KORKOR & KORKOR'S GF! :D

& Beebee, you know what, I don't like pink.
But that present, is special to me, no matter how I don't like pink.
STILL I LOVE THAT because IT'S FROM YOU & HER :D
Heh. THANKS. :D

well, I actually got a lot to say but I doubt I can finish it..
LOL!

I JUST REALLY REALLY ENJOYED even though there's a bit of.... s:
yeah! you guys who came knows lar.
x:

heheheh.

But I am still very happy to see you guys! (:
Heh.

Love you all! :D

THANK YOU VERY MUCHHH! :D

AnnChen & KaiJun coming down on thursday!
To celebrate a belated one with me, no choice ! ):
but I can understand! No worries! At least you guys are forking out time for me.

& on my bday, Eric, you said, I'm your baobei gan meimei, please do take care of yourself.
PLEASE stop doing all these foolish stuffs to hurt / harm yourself.
You are not just harming / hurting yourself.

You are hurting everyone who cares, who loves you!

I just want to tell you,

You have great friends by your side,
learn to cherish,
you know who I am saying.

(:

Okay.

Now, work stuffs.

Yeah, I am in a bad mood tonight because a lot went wrong.
Freaking wrong. ): kns.

& I really don't like to scold my staffs you see.
I want to be friendly and nice but please, don't let me catch you being lazy or whatever that
is not right! ):

I don't like to scold you all also. ):
We work together, but we are friends at the same time.
So yeah! :D

Back to Twits & FormS, Tag replied.

2011-02-21T15:10:00.000+08:00

Yeah, were checking my Emails & then I saw....
a lot a lot of mails.. from Formspring.
And then I was like..

" I got flooded... "

LOL!

A LOT OKAY! ):
Want my life one.
Lol.

Just active my twit & fs jiu got a lot this and that. lololol!
Okay luhs, from my blog can see I am back to blogging, twitting, formspring-ing & more lah hor?
LOL!

now time for tag replies.

20 Jan 11, 23:59 kyroskoh: Hey! :D

- Hey Kryos ! :D Sorry for the late reply!!

22 Jan 11, 20:45 Kamalia: Can you be my follower at my blog

- Sorry ~ I don't follow any strangers on blog. (: unless it catches my attention!

12 Feb 11, 23:51 Sally: Just make another visit

- Thanks Sally!

17 Feb 11, 15:41 BLOGOBO: Visit my site please.. thanks..

- I would like to but I don't have the time ^.^

20 Feb 11, 18:14 Cynthia: Nice theme

- Thanks Cynthia!

Heheh.

Okay! I go play blackshot already ~ :D
Byebye!

Changed a new skin (:

2011-02-20T04:05:00.000+08:00

Changed !

A new blogskin for my blog.
Simply lazy to edit, so make some changes only. :P

My ears like gonna...bleed already.
Boyfriend and his friends playing blackshot.
And VERY LOUDDDDDD. D:

4am already! ): I haven sleep.
waiting for boyfriend to go to bed with me and koon like pig.
Hahah!!

Tml JunRong coming to CLGC. :D
& my darling is sick ):

Omg. I was like blogging half way, then I look at boyfriend's screen.
LOL!

Cause he's playing BS. Hehe. I gonna BS later also. Heh!
Later got compy,
Couple Compy somemore -.-"

Of cause I'm with him one team la ! Lol!!
Whariao, I am hungry ):
Just now was on the phone w Arron, HE'S EATING MAC,
ASS. I also wantttttt. But I need to save money lar. ): Lol.

Okay la. I go play game alr. :P
Byebye!

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

0000♥♥♥♥♥00000♥0000000000000♥0000♥♥♥♥♥000
000000♥00000000♥00000♥00000♥00000♥0000000
000000♥000000000♥000♥0♥000♥000000♥0000000
000000♥0000000000♥0♥000♥0♥0000000♥♥♥♥♥000
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000

000
000
000
000
000
000000000
000000000 oving you is all I wanna do.

Happy Valentine's Day Boyfriend (:
Hoping that your smile tonight is because of me. ^.^v
&

I want you to know, I really love you, just you and nobody else.

Hello! Updates about my 20th Birthday!

2011-02-11T17:28:00.000+08:00

Hello friends.

My 2oth Birthday celebration will be located at

224 Upper Thomson Road
Thomson Garden Estate
#01-224
Singapore 574356

Please reach after 530pm and before 730pm.
Thank you.

Food will be provided.
Drinks too.
But beer and alcohol, those who wants it ah,
Please go and request from my parents. x:
Ask them bring. :x
Lol.

anyway, should be ordering food this yr, not my daddy cooking already.
Cause no time ): Lol.
Too busy.

But I am saying myself.
I am too busy to do all these.
So yeah! x:

Hehe.

& I comfirm already, 22nd of Feb.
So all, please go and take off on 22nd of Feb.
(:

Thank friends and love ones who already took off on 22nd Feb.
:D

Esp those NSF :D Love you all deeeeep deeeeep!
Haha!

And those haven take off one can take on 23rd of Feb also can.
After work come lor. :D Ton until 23rd :D Loveeees. HAHAHHA! x:

Okay.

Anyway, anything that got to do with Bday ones, Please check updates @ my fb or
@ Www.BabyChel.Com Thank You!

Fuck your own life, bitch.

2011-02-08T07:58:00.000+08:00

Don't bullshit with Jason and his friends.
Going around telling people I broke you two up.
Fuck you.

If you haven't done such a thing, Dave won't leave you.
I didn't say the wrong shit, you did the wrong shit.

If I were Dave, I won't even bother to listen to your explanation.
Fuck you, what's drink, drank and drunk, that's why you had sex with WG?
WG not drunk, so is WG's fault?
I don't think so.

Both of you are AT FAULT.
Get this IN YOUR HEAD.
BOTH OF YOU.

Don't tell people WG rape you la.
You drunk until cannot walk and think, WG bring you home and rape you.
Fuck you la.

If WG want to rape you, you think he will so stupid bring you home?
WG will bring you to the HOTEL, FUCK YOU AND LEAVE YOU THERE.
BECAUSE YOU ARE WAY TOO DRUNK TO RBM WHO YOU HAD SEX WITH.

You already said, you drunk until sleep in cab.
How come right after sex, you jitao cry and blame WG ?
Tell WG you feel guilty?
Go and die lah Bitch.

I feel sad for Dave now.
Cb, together for almost a year,
you like that.

Calling you a bitch is being nice to you.
Because DAVE SAID, HE WU DI XIN TONG WHY YOU TREAT HIM THIS WAY.
ASK US NOT TO CALL YOU A SLUT OR A CHICKEN.

Bitch, go and think about it.

I told Dave, If I were him,
I won't want a girlfriend who go drink and get drunk then have sex w another guy.

And WG, whatever I told you is a fact.
Nobody want to argue over a girl but you really did such a fucking wrong fuck shit.

Put yourself in Dave's shoes.
IF YOU ARE DAVE,
YOU GIRLFRIEND GOT FUCKED BY YOUR OWN FRIEND.
WHAT WOULD YOU FEEL?

Someone who he trusted fucked his girlfriend.
Oh sorry, should be EX girlfriend now.
But, before that, she's HIS GIRLFRIEND.

And I really wonders, SO MANY GIRLS,
why you choose her? you choosed your friend's gf,
what the fuck is wrong? You really love her?
Don't give me shits.

You love her, you won't treat her this way.
Get my message fucking right in your head right now.
Ccb, if you love someone, she's in a r/s with someone,
don't spoil her r/s just because YOU WANT HER.
Fuck you. Holy Bastard. You are ruining her at the same time.

You want someone you love, you fight for it.
How far, how much can you go, depends on yourself.

Breaking people up is a bad thing to do.

And she might be together with you is not because SHE REALLY LOVES YOU.
Because YOU SPOIL THE FUCKING R/S, SHE LEFT WITH NO CHOICE BUT YOU.
SO SHE CHOOSE YOU. Fucking dick head.

Happy meh? If she accept you, you happy?
How happy can you be ?

Seeing her suffering right now, making others calling her a slut, a bitch and stuffs.

I'm not going to side anyone, but I'm stating the FACT.

Dave is on the msn, conf-ing w us, telling us how much he missed the times you GUYS had.
How much he miss her hugs and kisses and more.

Fuck you WG, look at what the fuck you and her have done.

Both of you should really go and think hard.

Okay, I'm done.

I hope, you guys will at least, FEEL GUILTY TOWARDS DAVE.

Bad Mood

2011-02-05T07:10:00.000+08:00

Super bad mood ):

Main Cause - My boyfriend..

Seriously, too angry till I don't feel like blogging ):!

Angry until I called my parents to complain!!! ):!

My daddy told me over the phone,

" Come back if you are really unhappy there, Mummy Daddy is always here. "

* Touched *

& one more,

" Don't need to go out work for him, we got money for you, don't have to work "

-.-"

They think they superman or wonder women, but I am happy to hear these from them.
Old already, my turn to work and give them money already, not they give me.
But I am still taking money from them -.-"

Why ?

I can't say it on the blog. x:

The answer kills. x:

Anyway, I am really angry ~!!!
Angry till cannot already! Omg!
x.x

I wanna go to bed already,
don't feel like facing or talking to my boyfriend for the whole day.

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone! :D

2011-02-03T17:40:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone out there! :D

Woke up at 4 plus with Hubby, (:
Wash up and.. almost argued. LOL!

First day of CNY jiu almost argued.
best ah! XD!!

anyway, argued because he wants me to tag along and visit his relatives,
but I need to go ahma's house what!
Lol.

End up, I didn't go w him, didn't go ahma house.
Because I decided, Let AlvinOng go back home first because he didn't go home yesterday night.

So yeah, Hubby go his relative's place, Alvin Ong go home, I wait till 10pm go back to Toa Payoh.
then yeah, supposed to meet someone, but forget it la.

Meet ? How to meet? He say save chu 1 for him, end up he got other stuffs to do what.
Save for what. -.-" Don't care, don't bother lor! I do my own stuffs.

Still thinking of after his stuffs can supper, but Idk why I just suddenly don't want.

& okay! I got photos to update!

I had a hair cut! And I'm seriously bored at work ):
So yeah!~ X:

Me bored @ Work
+
New Hair Cut! :D

& My LJB, xD! Too bored at work already ! ):

Heh. Okay la. I go back to work already!

Blog again!

CYA!! :D

Talked & I realised.

2011-01-30T16:38:00.000+08:00

Talked to a friend,
and realised,

There's something that will never change for now and then,
maybe because I haven met anyone that can do this to me.
But I clearly knows that I didn't forget anything.

Sometimes, I really wonder..

2011-01-28T14:22:00.000+08:00

Took a view of your pictures, profile and everything.

Still, till today, you are the reason why I am blogging each time.

Whenever you pops out in my mind, I got a lot to say, a lot to tell, a lot to blog.

I miss the day I left,
because that's the ever last time I saw you.
Spending less than an hour with you,
I know it's not enough for me and you,
but I left because someone else called for me.

I don't know if you know that nobody can replace you

Nobody taught me what's life,
Nobody taught me to behave like a grown up,
Nobody taught me to be who I am,
Nobody taught me how to be me,

but you.

Once my pillar, Once my life, Once my everything
& now you belong to someone else.

same to you,

I belong to someone else too.

The deepest place in my heart is where you lived,
from day 1 I know you, even till now.

I miss every place we went,
I miss every thing we did,
I miss every word we said,
I miss every breathe we took.

& most of all, I miss you.

Be as friends or old flame.
I miss you.

I saw those untagged pictures.

Be it because we are still friends or it's just an picture to remind you
that this person crashed your world and left you alone there in pieces.

I just want to know am I the reason why you choose to turn these way?

If yes, I am sorry and I hope I can be the one who can change you again.

I know I made a diff in your life. & thanks to me, you are like this right now. if am able to change your life, I would because you taught me what's life.

Speechless.

2011-01-27T10:59:00.000+08:00

Am speechless for this relationship I had anyway.

& everyone, I know what I am doing in fact.
Just don't have to worry too much.
Plus, leaving this place or not
doesn't make a diff.

Work is work you see.
I can't just throw my job away.

I just want my friends to know,

I really knows what I am doing.
Please do not worry and please do not keep asking me anything related to this relationship.
Unless... You are my darling Poh Kian Ean.

Other than her, the rest, jiu don't ask le bah.
Tired of explaining so much yet I get scolding from you guys -.-"

Might as well you all just kp and don't ask me jiu suan le. s:!
Lol.

Anyway, recently kept raining, sales isn't that good ):
Very sad! ):

No SALES ! ): Cannot like this! Please stop raining le! Thank youuu!!~

& kinda crazy about Dragonica these few days -.-"
Dota, still as usual lor.
Hmmms,

too lazy to change my blogskin anyway ):
lols.

and I don't think someone is good at lying.
Lol.

I know someone is lying but I just kept quiet about it

I seriously want to know did that someone left his brain at home ? Or what ?

HAHA!

X:

Well, I am not foolish or stupid.
My 6 sense seldom goes wrong.
Even though seldom,
but I can comfirm I am right this time (:

Heh. Okay la. I am texting w KH, :D
I go text and msn and more alr.
Byebye! :P

Bored at work ):

2011-01-25T16:57:00.000+08:00

Hello peeps.

(:

Am here to blog.
Super bored at work.

Nothing to do.
Rain bigbig, no customer ):

Kinda tired but on shift x.x
Hahah.

Anyway, I was thinking, should I change my blogskin again? LOL!
Am too bored ):!

- Be back later -

BLOG LATER ):

Cause nothing to blog.

& go think about am I going to change my blogskin or not :P

I broke up with Tan Wee Chew.

2011-01-22T07:50:00.000+08:00

Yes, I broke up with Tan Wee Chew.

I already said,

each time I talk to him face to face,

something bad surely will happen.

& this is the best part of it.

A broke up.

Now,

Everyone should be happy and stop asking me when will I leave this idiot and stuffs already.

NOW, DON'T COME AND ASK ME WHY I BROKE UP WITH HIM.

When I am in a r/s w him, you all keep asking me to leave.
Now I left, DON'T COME AND ASK ME WHY OKAY.

Friends?

WHAT ARE FRIENDS?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU ALL DON'T SEE WHAT I AM SEEING.

YOU ALL DON'T FEEL WHAT I AM FEELING.

SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Long post (:

2011-01-22T03:47:00.000+08:00

Hello all (:

Am here to blog ! :D

Firstly.

I would like to complain! ):

Ytd morning, I went to this coffee shop nearby my work place one,
whalao. Service sucks to the max k -.-"
AND ONLY MORNING SHIFT DE WORKERS' ATTITUDE SUCKY!

MORNING SHIFT ONEEEE!

Night shift one all kind, nice and FRIENDLY de.

Plus morning uh, their food cmi -.-"
and their service really FUCKED UP TO THE MAX OKAY -.-"

K, don't wanna say more.
But I really don't like it.

And

Today, I finally went to watch movie!
Mark Lee's one.

Quite funny la. Lol. Not bad, but seriously, need more improvement on their graphic for sure!

Heh! (: And before movie, I went to Yishun Dam w my friend.
SERIOUSLY, ALMOST 2 YRS NVR GO ALR.
MEMORIES GAO GAO.

Lol!!

BLAH.

LATER THEN I COME BACK AND BLOG.
MY PARENTS NAGGING MEEEE!

Ask me eat supper! :P

Be back later then!~ Or tml :P

我没有放弃。

2011-01-21T00:40:00.000+08:00

既然在一起并不开心，
那又何必呢？

分开，也许会比较快乐

放手，不代表我放弃

离开，或许能够拥有更美好的幸福

分手，只是想回到没有你的以前

如果我们不能幸福的在一起生活
那就放手让彼此去寻找彼此的幸福吧

爱一个人，
并不需要拥有

只要他/她

幸福
开心

的

过他/她自己的生活

就足够了

Don't say you regreted about something that happened and there's no turning back.

2011-01-20T03:59:00.000+08:00

Don't regret after you done something or made a wrong decision.
There might be a chance to turn back but most of the time,
it's impossible.

So always think before what you do or make a decision about it.

Requested By : Kyros

You need to think before you do.

2011-01-19T16:03:00.000+08:00

Always think before you do,
before you regret.

Requested by : Kyros.

Learnt

2011-01-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

Today,

Life taught me something new.

Even though I always blog about my unhappiness between me and him.
I said, I won't bother and more, but today,

something serious happened changed my mind.
I realised that I can't just let anything bad happen to him.

& it happene, today.

Because he wanted to bring me out,
for dinner,

and something bad happened.

Today, when I saw his smiley face while he's about to lose his freedom,
nothing but pain is all I feel.

Worried, Stressed out,
but other than helping out at the shop,
what else can I do ?
Nothing! Not a single shit!

& I realised that he's very important to me.
I can don't bother if he's sleeping w another girl or whatever.
But I just can't see him landing into troubles.
AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO.

Today,

I text him,

Anything there's me. Don't worry okay.
Just handle yourself there side first.
Don't worry about anything else. Hugs. Love you.

This is first time I text him & tell him
I love him.

And I just text without thinking much.

I can't deny I really likes this person a lot.
Together for so long, this is the first time
I tell him I love him, through sms.

Maybe it's because I never said I love him before,
so he always thinks that I have another guy out there.

But after today, I make sure I would say ' I love you '
to him, everyday.

I just want nothing to happen to him now.
I just want him back safely without any errors on his life right now.
Highly impossible, but I am hoping and praying hard.

& I need to hug him tight right now.

):

I do not know what to do with you, me or this r/s.

2011-01-08T08:09:00.000+08:00

Actually, I do not understand why. When I used to get jealous, you like to kp and say that I am sensitive, never show respects to your friends and more. Now, I don't get jealous, you still kp. So? Who want to teach me what to do ? Jealous, my fault, not jealous, still my fault. Moreover, she slept w you. Already slept before, even if there's a 2nd time, then ? What am I supposed to do ? Sleeping on the same bed, you told me you guys are friends, I just jolly well accept it. What you wanna me to do ? Slap you? or slap her ? -.-"

Even if you guys sleep on the same bed now, what can I do ? Lol.

I can't possibly ask you two to get up and ask her to go home,

because you would say I am trying to make a mountain out of a hill,

disrespects your friend by thinking otherwise and so much more.

& this morning, you asked for keys,

I wanted to take my stuffs, so I kept the keys.

You smiled happily.

Later on, you guys going to bed, I took my stuffs alr,

of cause I give you the keys.

And here comes the problem now.

You said, I changed.

I wasn't jealous and stuffs.

When I used to get jealous,

we argued and I cried.

You just flare up and stand by your friend.

So I learnt,

I don't bother if you guys are sleeping on the same bed or not now.

Because it will only leads to more arguments and quarrels.

Still, today, we argued.

Because I wasn't jealous.

So what am I supposed to do?

Be frank, I wasn't jealous isn't because I don't feel anything for you.

It's because it's not worth.

If you were to have a affair with her,

there's nothing I can do to prevent.

If you want it, you will try all ways to get it.

I don't need, don't have to stop you.

Because it won't work.

Leaving you or not, is another problem.

I have the answers all to myself.

Be it I leave or not, I won't let you die for sure.

I do not know what to do to this r/s.

Because I know no matter what's my decision,

it gonna be my fault for everything.

I'm going to let you decide for everything.

No matter you gonna hurt me or not,

I just want to keep it all to myself.

I am disappointed.

Totally disappointed, that's why I am not hoping for more.

When there's no hoping, there's no disappointment for me.

When there's no disappointment, there will be lesser cuts.

Lesser cuts, lesser scars, lesser tears.

I do not want anything from you,

because I do not want any hope.

Whenever you are nice, I am scare.

Whenever you want to be close, I am scare.

Whenever you want to hold me, I feel like running.

Whenever you want to kiss me, I feel like running.

Whenever you want to hug me, I feel like running.

I want to hide, I am scare, I want to run,

because I do not want to have any hope(s).

Hoping makes me cry all the time.

Hoping makes me fall all the time.

Hoping makes me die all the time.

I do not know what to do to you, this r/s and myself.

Because all my decision, would bring death upon you.

So I throw my decision behind me, & carry on.

And now, I just want to help out.

As much as I can, not asking for anything from you.

& if you happen to read or see this,

Please do not argue with me.

I am tired of arguing.

Please do not confront me,

Just treat it as you didn't.

Because I do not want to know if you ever care,

anymore.

Friendship about to sink.

2011-01-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

Disappointed.

You said

" We treat you as friends, you treat us as rubbish bin "

" Got stuffs, you call us and dump all your rubbish into us "

" Don't have, a single call or sms also don't have. "

My thinking

I didn't treat you all like rubbish bin.
I don't think my troubles and problems are rubbish.
I don't call or sms because you will not pick up or reply, I tried.

I don't think I haven't done enough.
Maybe you think it's not enough.
But as friends, I have done more than enough for you all.
I never fail to be there for you all in the past.

Now, we all have to work.
Work took all our time away.
And you choose to blame all these on me.

I am a human, I got feelings, I got a lot to say and I choose to shut up.
Why? Because all of you are working, busying with life.

And today, this is what I got from you all.

And even my boyfriend, don't understand.

I can't turn to my parents for this kind of problems.

Not my sis at this timing, not my bro at this timing.

And now, I only can turn to Edwin & Javier, nobody else but them.

Why is it so? Why can't everyone just be like them ?

I know everyone is not the same, I can't compare.

Do you guys know, being a friend is to support whatever your friend does
as long as it's not harming her/him, not committing a crime,

& not giving her/him support already then found out actually this and that,
and then stop being her supporter and keep on forcing her/him this and that and more.

Blaming her/him for everything that happens.

This isn't what I call friends.

If this is the way you all wanna be friends,
don't blame me for being a bad friend.

No matter how.

2011-01-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

No matter how you hurt me,
I will not shed a tear,
Because I cried more than I smile
Ever since we started to work.

You would never feel the pain,
because I won't do such thing.
But sometimes, because of all these happenings,
it made me fall deeper and become stronger.

You know what?
The best present you gave me,
isn't two little boxes of Tiramisu Chocolates
isn't the heart shape box of Chocolates
isn't the little mario you bought at Somerset Mrt
isn't the iPhone 4
isn't the iPhone 4 Chocolate silicon casing
isn't the iPhone 4 front and back black casing
isn't the braclet
isn't the Domokun HP pouch
isn't all these things that can make me smile for life.

The best present was,
you taught me, never be me in front of you.

I am not those good girl who listens to boyfriend.
I am someone with my own thinking and ways of doing.
I am a selfish person, I am a bad girlfriend, I am a bad friend.

I am the worst person you ever met in your life.

I am just wondering, when will you harden your heart and force me
to leave you.

For her, I can't bear to leave, I can't, I am unable to leave. I have feelings for her.
Even though she's not mine, but I do treat her like mine. I dote her like she's my own one.
Not because I love you but I love her.

For you, I find it hard to leave you. Because I have feelings for you.

For you, her and this shop,
I did more than enough,
already exceeded my limits
but I just want to carry on,
I don't care if I will die on the spot or not,
I just want to be there.

I just want you to understand.
Or maybe you do, but I don't.
Everyone is asking me to leave,
but how am I supposed to leave
when nobody is there for you?

If one day, I see someone who can do as much as I did,
can be there like how I did,

I will leave. Because I believe, she loves you more than I do.

Maybe I am not ready for anything right now,
but trust me, if you really don't want this r/s or
don't treat this r/s seriously, just let me off.

Stop holding on to me, because the more you hold me,
the more I can't let you go.

The more I am disappointed with myself.
The more I want to close my eyes and pretend that nothing happened

The only way to comfort myself is to pretend.

I don't need anyone to pick me up.

2010-12-21T19:16:00.000+08:00

I know,

No matter how much I do
will never ever prove you guys I'm trying hard
for all of you.

Because once I done something well, you expect something even better from me.
I don't know how much must I do for you all.

I can be a good girl in the family, a good friend in the social circle, a nice girlfriend in the relationship.

But I choose not to anymore, because you guys are really pushing me to my limits.
& I know, ever since I had this relationship, i drifted away from my family and friends.
I am really sorry for this, I didn't want it, but well, I do not know where to start or how to start to explain.

Because my explanation is an excuse to all of you.

Hi People! :D

2010-12-21T05:46:00.000+08:00

I know what to blog already! X:

Again about my bruises ! lol!
More and more already! ):
lol.

finger, arm & legs also got! x.x
arm de very pain ! ):

Got cuts & blue black ):

Anyway, if you guys saw what I posted on facebook.
It's true, real and it's what I wanted.
I want everything back, every single thing back to myself.
Especially my soul, but I think I got it back because he no longer affects my mood
so much :P

Strong enough to fall and get up again (:
Because I am someone who can afford to fall and get up with one, tens, hundreds & thousands bruises and pains.
No matter how you gonna hurt me or break my heart,
I swear, I won't drop a single tear for you.
Not because you are nothing, it's because you are something but
I already had more than enough from you.

I am at my own limits,
asking for a break up is not the right way,
not the right time, not the right choice now.
Because there's a lot I need to do for you.
I do not want to see you in your worst.
I only want to see you in your best.
No matter how much am I gonna suffer or sacrifice,
I just want to see you at your best.

As long as you are happy, baobei is happy, I am happy.
(:

Anyway, I have pictures of my cuts and bruises.

Many many! s:

If I go home like this, I think my parents would go CRAZY.
Lol.

Seeing so many cuts and bruises. S:

k la. I don't wanna blog already.
no mood.

Bye.

In fact, I got nothing in mind right now.

2010-12-20T14:54:00.000+08:00

Hi people!
(:

Er, I want to blog, but I got nothing to blog this few days ):
Been working everday & night.

Whao, today was the most powerful day.
Slept @ 8am, wokr up @ 11am just to WORK.
Whalao, Changed alr.

Last time, you ask me sleep 3 hrs, go work?
I ask you go die. I want to sleep.
LOL! MC only, don't care.

S: hai, seriously,
tired but okay la. s:
Still got people on msn talk to me, play w me.
Later can dota dao siao like last time alr :D

K lah.

In fact, REALLY NOTHING TO BLOG NOR ):
Later lah, maybe after dota, jiu got alr. :P

Heh! Blog later or when I have something to blog :P

Byebye!